Daughter acting up to stepdad

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2011
Daughter acting up to stepdad
16
Tue, 05-10-2011 - 7:52pm
My daughter and I have been taking karate classes together and we really enjoy it. Its a great workout.

But now she has started to act up around my hubby when I'm not here. Nothing too serious. Basically she told him he needs to watch out because she could kick his butt if she wanted to. He was just trying to make sure she's doing her chores.

Not sure how I should handle this. Any ideas.

Pixie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2011
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 11:11pm
I thought this was all settled. But when I renewed this and brought it up again my DH told me that she's still acting up when I'm not here.

Apparently she told him not to tell me about it. Not sure what to do now. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 11:26am
Sorry I am getting in on the tail end of this, but have you sat down with your dd and asked her *why* she is doing this? Is she angry with him for something? I also have a dd14 and she has known her stepdad from the time she was 3...for many years they had a very close relationship, however when she turned 13 she very much wanted to identify with her biological father and get to know him better. This caused a great rift between my dh and my dd, and it has never been the same. Also my dh has done some things in the last several months that has totaly soured my dd on my dh. However, having said that she hasn't really acted out per say. My boys were the ones who went this route. If you have not considered it, counseling may be an option for the three of you as a family unit. To try and get back on track if possible. Some of it could be age, but it could also be more and you need to find out what is going on. Since it can really create tension and chaos in the household when everyone is not getting along. Trust me! I am remarried and we have a very tense household here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2011
Tue, 08-30-2011 - 9:09pm
I welcome the feedback :) no reason to be sorry.
My DD and I discussed it a few times and I don't thinks that's it.

She feels challenged by my DH. It's partially his own fault for trying to act tougher than he really is.

He's quite skinny for a guy. My DD plays all kinds of sports, so she is in pretty good shape. When he acts tough she tries to act tougher.

She looks stronger than him, and the karate classes just make her more confident.

And when push comes to shove my DH gets intimidated pretty easy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 08-30-2011 - 9:43pm

Are they actually having physical kind of fights or challenges?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2011
Tue, 08-30-2011 - 10:07pm
No, they don't. Lol. That would be odd.

They played armwrestling a few times but that's about it.

And my DH says she pretended some high kicks at him before. Just to show off.
Avatar for scoutnut
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 5:52pm

As "odd" as the "play fight" they had back in May?

"They did their play fight as well, all fun and game, no real hits and no one got hurt. The outcome was a bit shocking though. For me, anyway."

"Shocking"? Why?

You have also stated -

"She feels challenged by my DH. It's partially his own fault for trying to act tougher than he really is."

How is he acting "tough"? Why does she feel "challenged" by him? Why is she lying to you?

You need to cut out the "play fights" - immediately, and completely.

You need to talk to your husband about why he did not tell you what has been going on for the last 3+ months, and what he thinks can be causing her behavior.

You need to have a serious talk with your daughter and find out EXACTLY why she is behaving the way she has been. Continually threatening someone, especially a parent/stepparent, is serious.

Depending on the outcome of the previous two talks you

 

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