Daughter can't get over boy
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| Thu, 01-25-2007 - 1:12pm |
Hi
I have a newly turned 13 year old daughter who has always been the joy of my life. We've had a lot of changes going on lately though including the birth of my new daughter in May, her dad meeting a new gf who he is marrying in June and has 3 children of her own, starting middle school, getting her period, etc. So she's had a lot to deal with.
She was always slower than the other girls to "grow-up" and wasn't that into boys until last year. Just started really getting into the popular music etc this past year. Now all of a sudden -BOOM - full-fledged teenager on our hands. She ended up having a "boyfriend" a few months ago. They never saw each other except at school and she really had a big crush on him. She came running home the day she asked him out (because he got shy) and told me. She came running home the day he gave her a kiss on the cheek before Christmas break and told me. And then right after Christmas, he had one of her friends break up with her for him and she came home and told me. She's been sharing less and less of her life with me since then and seeming to be less and less happy. I know she's really hurting over this first break up. It's been less than a month, but I feel like if I don't do something this is going to go on and on. I don't want her to be one of those girls who hangs everything on a boy. She's a great kid smart, talented and beautiful.
I have tried to encourage her and give her all the reasons he's missing out on a great girl but nothing I say seems to help. I am at a loss on how to help her.
Thanks for anything you can tell me!
Tara

This is a pretty crazy time for kids. I have 19 dd, a freshman in college. We have had our share of crying nights over boys and then some boys had a couple of sad days too. Believe me, your daughter will break a heart or two of her own.
I always just talked to my daughter, not make a huge issue, but I always let her know that she will look back and not even remember this guys's name. And I told her what a terrific young lady she was and there will be lots of guys. Even though she will have trouble believing you now, assure her that you know this. I would take my dd out and maybe buy something pretty to wear and take her to lunch. Her and I still take time to go out to lunch and talk, it has been a great tradition that I hope lasts a long, long time, maybe someday with a grandaughter in tow.
Hope some of that helps. I feel for you and your daughter, I have seen that first hurt on that little face. Lots of love will be a big help.
Hugs,
Andie
At this point, all you really do is just love her. Fix her favorite dinner. Try to get her to go shopping (or whatever she likes to do) with you. Invite friends over or encourage her to go with them.
I know how badly you wish you could wave a magic wand and make it all better but this will happen in her time and on her schedule.
Good Luck!