daughters cheating boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
daughters cheating boyfriend
3
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 3:48am
What do I do? I just saw my daughters boyfriend of 7 months kissing his ex-girlfriend while she was leaving his house. He just finished playing his football game and told my daughter he was going home to sleep. I know my dtr. is in love with this guy and I heard him say it to her too. My dtr. is 16 1/2 and he is 18. I am so disappointed , I thought this guy was great and now this, don't know what to do?
Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 4:32am

My recommendation is to stay out of it. Your DD won't thank you for bringing this up to her. She is only 16 so it's unlikely that they will stay together forever especially if he is cheating. She will find out as the ex will likely make sure she knows. This multi relationships seems to be very common these days. The kids also seem to accept it. Just be ready to deal with her pain - lots of kleenex & chocolate will be required.

Also, you may not have seen what you thought you saw. Sometimes we turn to those we have past relationship with for comfort. My Dad died when I was engaged and my ex b/f from my teens showed up at the funeral home. I walked straight into his arms & burst into tears. He stood there holding me feeling very uncomfortable while my fiance stood beside us. It was the first time I cried but seeing hime broke through the wall I had built to get through this terrible time. It wasn't anything against my DH because we have been married 31 yrs. Dee

Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 9:09am
Isn't it hard to think a guy would do something that would hurt your DD? If he is otherwise respectful and nice to her, I wouldn't worry too much. Teens this age don't really know what or who they want yet. If he is mean to her and seems disrespectful of girls, you might want to have a talk with her about some guys being "players" and just use girls. It doesn't seem like he falls into this catagory, from what you said. There is so much on MTV and other tv show about guys and girls just using each other for sex, that it warrents a conversation. I told my DD that she should try not to get "used" because some guys will say exactly what the girl wants to hear... they have it figured out... they know what to say to keep the girl around for one thing. But that isn't a good relationship and the girl should have more respect for herself. Maybe he still has feelings for the ex-GF if he dated her for awhile. Those would be true feelings, not just using someone (your DD or the other girl), but that's something he has to figure out.
Deb
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 3:15pm

This type of thing is devastating no matter what age or what stage of a relationship. My own experience is that she may not find out now but she'll find out eventually. I don't know your relationship with your dd but when she does find out (and she will...trust me), if you told her you saw something and suspected but didn't tell her, how do you think she will react? Will she be angry at you or understand?

How serious is this relationship? They've been together 7 months. Does your dd still socialize with other people or are she and her bf very very close? Also, is he going away to college next year? He's already 18 so wondering if he is off? Do you think they are sexually active? If they are and he is fooling around could she be at risk for an STD?

I know I'm just giving you more questions and no answers but you've got to figure this out depending on your relationship with your dd and how serious she is about this boy.