DD 15 AND DH CLASHING.. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
DD 15 AND DH CLASHING.. :(
11
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 8:43pm
It has been some time since i posted here but i wanted to throw this situation out to get some thoughts... My dd will be 16 on Thursday 2/1/07..she rarely gives us a hard time about anything...she has the ups and downs of teens but her grades are good and she dresses normal and i don't here her cursing but she will go on her snippy rampages especially w/her father. Sometimes she speaks about him in a really hateful tone. example tonight my dh is opening a new business and works full time contracting during the day and evening at the new business trying to get it ready to open soon. he tries to involve our two children in the clean up and set up...he really needed help tonight and my ds and his friend were meeting my dh there and when my dh came home he seen my dd was STILL on the comp which i am sure she was on all day cuz she stayed home sick today too...not sick sick but not feeling good this morning and was ok tonight...so he said , ok dd lets go, she said w/a snip "go where".. he said over to the building to set up some things...and she said "Well, you did not ask me"...in other words she was telling him...don't tell me to do something, ask me. my dh just bought her a used car and put in $3,000.00 to get it fixed and ready for her 16th birthday...really does alot for the kids $$ wise and taking them places..my dh works hard all day and even when he gets home, it does not end, paperwork, etc...things blew up...he yelled at her and told her to get off the computer...well, she did not respond and evidently did not get off either...he blew up and told her she was grounded and took her cell phone...he left to work w/my ds...she was so pissy, she went into her bedroom and i went in to talk to her and told her that her tone and response is what got her in trouble...she flipped and was saying "he does nothing" "when was the last time he washed dishes" "when was the last time he helped clean the house" is it because he thinks he's "KING" ... she went on and on and said that I work too and she works on the weekends and we still have to clean...i just don't know what to say to her anymore...i see part of her point but she had no right disrespecting my husband /her father like that...she has been really rude and snotty to us all lately. i keep telling her she is going to get herself in her own trouble...she said to me"i'm just waiting to move out of this house, you think i don't have friends that will take me in and their parents aren't like him"...my husband would be crushed inside if i told him...and he will not show it, he will get mad and probably not give her the car .. cancel her cell, cancel the comp..hit her hard where it hurts...what do u guys think??? and i am having a sweet 16 party for her...i work full time..i asked her to clean up a little bit every night...she hasn't lifted really a finger..she washed the dishes but that's it...i don't like her like this. she also says i should stand up to him and not let him say what he wants and he always thinks he is right...ANY ADVICE PLEASE..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 12:50pm
Point well taken...i had a long talk w/dd this morning..today is her birthday and my 17 yr old ds brought to my attention that she has been really nasty to him too and needs an attitude adjustment..he said if he tried to talk to her about it, she would just tell him to shut up...so woke her up w/white roses for her birthday this morning and found the birthday cake zarowski crystal and gave that to her too...sent her off to school and she called me in second period and asked if she could come home cuz it was the end of the quarter and nothing was going on and it was her birthday ..so, i did...she did text me and tell me to make sure i wore my hair down and looked presentable...i was not offended by this because i know she wanted her friends to see me in "normal" clothes and not sweats and my hair up like a sumu wrestler...anyway, long story short, i picked her up, it was between classes so there were kids everywhere, yelling out happy birthday to her, a friend decorated her locker inside and out w/balloons and posters..it was really nice and made her feel special ... so getting in the car i said, how did i look and she said fine...then i said, i guess you did not notice the white socks with the black clogs and jeans...she just laughed a little and said OMG...I took her to breakfast at my brother's resteraunt meet her father there too..it was nice..so on the way home , i took advantage of having her contained in one spot and "talked" to her nicely and asked that before she said anything in the next few days to please think of what she was going to say and in the manner she was going to say it in and try and imagine how she will sound to the other person...she did not get defensive so we shall see....and i do appreciate all the advice and in put. i'm not saying my daughter is a bad teen..she's not..she is disrespectful and snippy...but she is a good person inside..she does not get in trouble and her grades are great. i really could not ask anything else from her except to be more conscious about how she talks to her family and her lack of helping as a family. :)

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