dd 15 and myspace issues
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dd 15 and myspace issues
| Mon, 06-12-2006 - 7:57pm |
my husband received a call today from his sister and she indicated that she seen my daughter's my space and there were some inappropriate things on there. so we made her bring it up and we viewed it. she indicated she was 17..her reason for that is because she said if she put herself younger, it was be made private and could not associate w/others. ok so, then we viewed her pics...she had a gummy bear party going on in one of the pics..well it was an orgy gummy bear party. quit an imagination. she had three paired up gummies in three different posses..one kissing, one on top of the other and the other one well..one was getting a sugar rush. my husband flipped and told her to remove all of the inappropriate items from it and his pic will go there w/a thretening note that no one is to post curse words or inappropriate things on there...she is angry and is stomping around...we should be the ones angry..she should be scared that we found this...what up w/kids??? any suggestions.

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I had to laugh when I read about the gummy bears---she does have quite an imagination! It sounds funny in a crude slightly obscene way, frankly at first I was afraid you would tell us that the pictures would be of HER in those poses. I used to (secretly) look at the myspace pages of my dd and her friends (about a year ago) and I saw some things that were essentially pornographic involving humans; at least gummy bears don't have anatomical parts.
I don't know what to tell you to do about this situation. I guess it could be a lot worse, be glad that it was just gummy bears this time. Insist on having access to her pages so you can keep an eye on it. If she knows that you will be checking then she will probably keep it clean; but it is possible that she could start another page that she only visits from a friend's computer.
For what its worth, "this too shall pass". My dd20 is "over" myspace and deleted her pages a few months ago. Many people she knows still use it though, and she said that now many of the kids in their 20s put that they are under 14 so they CAN have a private page. They don't want all of those random "friends" of friends of friends reading their pages. Go figure!!
I'm with you elc, this too shall pass.... though as kids get older, the headaches keep getting bigger! The worst year yet as far as headaches go? 18-20!
I see nothing wrong with monitoring her pages, and teaching her to keep in appropriate.
My DD14 has sort of drifted away from MySpace/Sconex/Facebook. She does Facebook a little, but not obsessively. So, I think most kids begin to see it's limitations.
I *do* think it's a lesson in what's private and what's not. I am upfront with talking wiht my DD about what's on her friends' sites and how it's not really private. She rolls her eyes at me every time there's a story in the news about one of these sites, but I think it's important to teach teens how to handle this environment. If we ban a site, they'll go to anoter one. Eventually, they'll be on their own, so I'd rather give my DD guidelines and teach her the consequences (pos and neg) of this kind of site so she'll know how to manage this going forward.
Sue
Hello,
My name s Jessica. I am only 18 and i am definatly not a parent of a teen. but I am a teen.
I have to tell you, things will get better. I have a myspace and I have made mine private so I do not have to associate with the trouble making people that go on that site. My myspace page is strictly for family and friends on this site. I also have to tell you. If you had your daughter change her page so that she is 14 years old all her friends would still be allowed to view her page. the only people who will not be allowed to view her page are the ones that are NOT on her friends list. the page will come up blank saying this profile is private. The good news i can tell you. I'm pretty sure your daughter was not the one who made the gummy bear picture. I have seen that picture around on the internet alot. It's just an immature little joke young teens post on websites. I have deleted my profile quite a few time due to the immaturity of some people on that site. I have also had my mom delete mine due to an ex boyfriends family who was causing alot of trouble with me. My advice is to tell your daughter to make her profile private and to take down all inappropriate items on her page. You may also like to inform her that there is a way for you to keep an eye on her page and if you see something wrong there is something you can do about it. Like my mom did. she deleted mine. until i finally grew up enough to understand that the immaturity isnt worth the stress of myself or my family.
I hope i was able to help you out in some way. I understand the whole myspace situation and it can be quite stressful for parents.
It sounds to me like both your DD AND your DS need a parentally enforced break from computer use.
As for the MySpace, I am one of those parents who just said 'no'. I have a log-in so that my DD can use to look up her friends, but frankly, she doesn't seem all that interested in it even then, or of having her own page and I can't recall ever finding her on it. I know there are lots of decent kids out there using it appropriately and innocently, but there seem to be an even larger number that don't.
My 12yo DS played a game called 'Runescape' for quite a while a year or two ago and I know how addicting that particular game is ... sounds similar to the one your DS is playing. I pulled the plug on that one when one of his classmates (and a neighbor) started calling him names and being hateful to him when he was on line. When DS texted him that I was standing there watching their convo, the kid instantly signed off and told DS the next day (unsolicited, I might add) that 'someone else was using his sign-on yesterday'. Yeah, right. You can imagine the neighborly feelings I have for this kid now.
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