DD and Winter Formal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
DD and Winter Formal
19
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 11:20am

Last night at dinner, DD attempted to convince DH and I that since she has no 'romantic interest' in her date for winter formal, it is completely unncessary and unreasonable for us to meet him that evening. ???

She also feels it should be perfectly acceptable to us to just drop her off somewhere near the San Diego harbor, where she will meet up with her date and two other couples for dinner and that they would be perfectly fine finding their way into downtown San Diego where winter formal is actually taking place.

Yeah right ...

And all along, here I've been, thinking that she's a level headed young lady.

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 7:11pm
Hey - a girl's gotta try!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 8:02pm

My DS is 18 - so I don't have the control I once did - but when he was younger, and dating, I insisted on meeting the boys (I know, sounds weird, my son dates boys) and actually gave them the 3rd degree (I learned something from my dad when I was dating). Used to drive him nuts, but I knew where he was, who he was with, and that I had ensured as much of his safety as it was humanly possible for me to do.

Not that he didn't try - and got the same eye-rolling your DD got - but I totally support your position.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 6:32am

I agree that asking lots of questions is the way to go - and just pretending those eye rolls never happened. I think kids mostly *say* they hate that, but in the long run they know it's good parenting.

BTW, I think it's wonderful that you are comfortable and supportive about your son being gay. I'm sure he appreciates that!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 7:31am
Now this sounds like the kind of thing N would put out there because she has plans that she is pretty sure we'd not be wild about, so she puts out "plans" that are way over the top so that when all is said and done, she gets what she really wanted to begin with! :D Yep, a girl's gotta try... though mine has me worried at the moment, whole new post that I'm going to start now.
Rose
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 10:14am

I think the last few months have sorta burnt the 'outrage' right out of my system!! I am in a constant state of "what now?", so it's hard for anything to surprise me, kwim?

At a certain point, it doesn't even matter what THEY are thinking. It becomes all about how WE are handling it. And you have to have a sense of humor because if you let every little thing make you crazy, well, you will go crazy. lol.

Good for you for being able to get handle on things so easily.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 11:24am
Like Sue, I too, think it's wonderful that you show such support to your son being gay. I'm sure it's hard for homosexuals to even 'come out' to begin with (and we've all heard the stories of how that part didn't go so well for a lot of gays) so I imagine he's doubly appreciative of your unconditional love and support.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 11:27am

Yes ... I am starting to wonder what the 'real' plans for the evening are. I am sure, however, that they all DO plan to attend the dance (and not sneak off somewhere else) because the venue this year is very, very cool.

As of last night, girl B's father planned to chaperone the group at the dinner part of the evening. DD just about had a cornary when I suggested to DH that he go along and keep B's father company! LOLOL

The look on DD's face was priceless!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 11:36am

Oh gosh ... maybe your DD will just run out of ideas to make you crazy some day soon. Or, maybe she'll fine a way to channel that imaginative and creative energy in a more constructive way.

Yes, keeping your sense of humor intact is a grand idea ... along with a huge supply of chocolate chip cookies, lol. Although my current fav is peanut butter chocolate chip ... but I'm really thinking that it might be time for a batch of chewy molasses ...

I hope you have a peaceful weekend :-)




Edited 2/2/2007 11:41 am ET by hydrangea_blue

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 12:09pm

Thank you for your kind words - although he does get much support for me, and there was no issue when he "came out," his being gay is the least of our problems, being that he is an explosive child with anger management issues, ADHD, and possible mood disorder. I wish his being gay were the most severe of his problems. In fact, more than one boy in his high school has "come out" as a result of how comfortable he is with his homosexuality (and he's SERIOUSLY popular with the girls - so even the straight guys want to hang out with him - gets them closer to the females LOL).

In fact, both my sons (18 and 15) are gay, as is my nephew (the big joke in our family is that ALL the kids - 3 boys and 1 girl - like boys). Anyone that tells me that homosexuality is not genetically predisposed need only look at my family to contradict that.

Thanks again for your support. It does get difficult (there is a standard of "protocol" when your daughter dates boys or your son dates girls - but what position do you take when your son dates boys?). Since my son has always dated boys older than himself (both of them have, actually), I have always felt comfortable adopting the "mother of the girl" position and questioning the SH** out of the boys he dates.

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