DD issues with Mean Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
DD issues with Mean Girl
11
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 11:42am

I know this is a really common issue...but ours has an unusual twist.
DD (14) has a friend who moved in next door (NB) the first part of 7th grade (last year). DD took her under her wing and introduced her around. They were friends for a while, and then starting having problems like most teens. They had mutual friends, and were part of the athletics/popular girls. NB had a slumber party that same year and during that party, DD and another girl got tired and went to sleep in the living room. Ever since that party (over a year ago) NB has been telling rumors that my DD is a lesbian and made out with this girl. We have tried to ignore the rumors, and after 7th grade last year, they died out. Well NB has started them up again. It seems to creep up when DD starts hanging around the same popular girls again, and NB is just shooting her down everytime things start going well. This particular rumor seems to cause all of DD's friends to scatter and the boys to ignore her. I am really worried about her getting depressed over this issue. If it were any other kind of rumor, I wouldn't panic, but this has the potential to seclude and destroy my daughter's self confidence. I have spoken with NB's mom on 2 occasions (once was her idea, and once was mine), as we are both tired of the girls coming home complaining about their relationship. We thought this lesbian rumor was dropped, but since it has come up again, what can DD do to diffuse it? I know it will carry her into high school, and I hate to see that. I even found a question on Yahoo answers that my daughter posted about the situation. I hate that my DD has to find a way to overcome such a harsh situation. I have asked her to laugh about it when it comes up and say "that is SO last year...can't you come up with something better?". I have also suggested to ignore it again. I just wonder if anyone else has any ideas for her to diffuse this.
Thanks for any advice


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 9:58pm

Hello txsanchez,

I get what you're been through. You get my whole sympathy. I have to agree with everyone that middle school is anything but fun!

You see, one of my closet childhood friends had to go through this same thing a few of years ago. Even she didn't do anything wrong, it happened anyway. IT WAS too much for me to watch but I knew I had to be there for her.

My suggestion to you is to make sure that your daughter is not hanging out with this girl, NB. No contact. Period.
Trust me. Ever since my friend started hanging out with different people, things started get better. She has gained her confidence back and she's much happier now.

To make new friends, she could join a club or something. Is there a youth group at your church? How about joining a sport team if she's into sports such as hockey, soccer or baseball?

Most importantly, let her know that YOU'RE THERE FOR HER whenever she needs to fall on your back. It DOES make a difference though it sounds like a little thing.

Tell her to hang in there. From what you said, she sounded like she's already on the track!

Tons of hugs

Kit-Kat







Edited 1/29/2007 11:26 pm ET by chocoloickit-kat
--Kit Kat, the loving Fur Mama to Two Socks and Fur Angel, Spike.

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