DD not talking.
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DD not talking.
| Thu, 04-27-2006 - 9:02am |
I was trying to chat with DD yesterday about prom plans. I was trying to keep it upbeat and talked about how much fun it would be to go with a group of girls. She looked bummed out. I asked if she was disappointed. She shrugged her shoulders. She said she knew ex-BF wouldn't try to get a tux for the prom. He only wanted to take her if she could commit to getting back together with him again. I get so frustrated. He hasn't been working so he has no money. So that could've been another reason he didn't follow through. This is classic for him... just NO ambition and doesn't give a rats. Don't get me wrong, I am GLAD she isn't going with him. She still talks to him every day though and I think after prom she is going to consider getting back together with him. When I asked how she felt about him wanting to get back together, she said she didn't want to talk to me about it. Well, at least she has some nice friends to talk to. In the meantime, she is spending time with the new guy. I asked if they were "going out" and she said no... yet she kisses him. It's frustrating seeing her with these two and agonizing over which one to choose when neither of them is worth the time. Wish she'd raise her standards. I am not saying much cuz she doesn't want to talk to me, but she keeps these two guys going... leading both on. That bothers me.
Deb
Deb

I know this is frustrating for you but be thankful your DD is taking her time and trying to think this out. Also consider that she's being honest with them. That says alot about your DD.
She doesn't realize it yet but she'll honestly probably have more fun at prom with the girls than with the ex. This way she can relax and do what she wants to do - not have to even think about him or his wants. She can spoil herself a little.
This whole situation obviously bothers you, but I think you need to take your cues from your DD and let it rest for now. She seems to be processing this in her own way and will come to her own resolution about the prom, bf and new boy.
Sometimes when I'm prattling on and on about something to my DD, she'll get this funny look on her face (annoyed, maybe? probably LOL!) and clam up. I'll say something like 'do you want me to shut up now?' and she'll say 'YES!'. Okay then ... it's hard, but sometimes, ya just gotta.
Deb
Hey Deb ... I hope I didn't come across as an old meanie in that last post! What I think happens with our girls sometimes, (well at least with me!) is that WE talk TOO much and don't allow them the time and space to think things out for themselves, process, and come to some sort resolution or conclusion without tossing in more than our two pennies.
I tend to offer my opinion to my DD more than she actually asks for it and I'm sure that has caused her to clam up on things when we're talking. I think there are some things now she just doesn't discuss with me at all because I've voiced too strong an opinion on it (or a similar situation) in the past. I've sort of sensed there has been something bothering her the last few days but when I ask, she says she's 'just tired'. Classic brush off line -- I should know, I use it myself!
Anyway, I think I'd keep my opinions on the upcoming prom very neutral. Like 'that dress is so lovely on you', 'how are you going to wear your hair?', etc.
I hope it all goes well! You'll have to update us when it's all said and done. Is it this weekend?