DD out of control!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
DD out of control!
32
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 4:41pm

Just when DH and I think we are in control of our 'fun-loving' teen, I found out we are not. We insist on knowing

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 1:12pm

I may be a little late adding my two cents. For what they're worth ...

Most of us, me included, admit to getting a bit crazy during our teen years and ending up just fine as adults. However, that doesn't necessarily make it OKAY and/or just fine in today's world nor does it guarantee that nothing bad will happen to our children, just because nothing bad happened to us.

I did some amazingly stupid stuff growing up, the stupidest stuff involving alcohol and an automobile and the truth is, I am very lucky to be sitting here, alive, right now. Like most of my generation, my parents were quite uninvolved in my life and were heavy drinkers. It is quite likely that had they known about me drinking in high school, they would have probably would have laughed and written it off as 'teenagers having fun'.

Now, as an adult and a parent, I really DON'T think it is fine and dandy for teenagers to drink and get drunk. There is a legal drinking age of 21 in our country and I do believe that law is there for a reason, as are most laws. IMO, drinking leads to other activities --- drugs, sex, vandalism, suicide etc., simply because we all know that people tend to become less inhibited while under the influence of alcohol. I'll admit to doing things I probably would not have ever tried had I not been drunk.

There are definitely things I regret about my life and most were things I did while drunk. Knowing what I do now and feeling like I do now, it will be very difficult for me to 'stick my head in the sand' if I found out, as you did, that either child was drinking, doing drugs or having sex.

 

 

 

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 1:50pm

I agree...as a general rule, I would venture to guess most of us were not angels growing up. Lord knows, I certainly wasn't!

One thing I would like to point out is that our teens are living in very different times than when we were teens. (That, or I'm just a lot older than y'all are!). Clear up until the time I was in my 20's, cops didn't take kids to jail for DWI, and most certainly not girls. If you were a minor, you just had to pour your beer out on the side of the road, with the cops watching, and then they admonished you to go home. There was no such thing as open container laws. You could actually drink and drive, just don't be drunk. Drinking and driving then did not carry the weight it does now. Shoot, I'm not even sure PI was against the law then. Not saying that is right, that's just the way it was. Same with sex. We grew up with "VD". All curable by a magic bullet. Not what we have now. If our teens do the same things we did when we were teens, the consequences for them are much higher than what they were for us. Yes, they probably are doing the same things we did, but the penalties they may incur are much higher. *That* is what scares me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:06pm

Exactly! And it was even more different for our parents -- pregnancy was the big sex worry, kids got drunk on a deserted country road and didn't have to drive on a six-lane highway at 70mph to get home, cars didn't go nearly as fast, police weren't on the lookout for drunk drivers like they are now, etc. -- which may why our parents didn't pay attention to us as teens. They hadn't yet realized the repercussions of that behavior, and perhaps the law hadn't either.

These times, they are a'changin'...

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:29pm
When I was a little girl there weren't any seat belt/car seat laws and the speed limit on the interstates was something like 75MPH.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:53pm

Oh my! There were definitely angels looking over you back then!

I don't remember actually standing up in the car, but I don't remember ever using seat belts. I think dad even cut them out of a couple of cars.

I DO remember, however, riding in the pack of pick-up trucks. Every chance us kids got, in fact. It wasn't until truckloads of children perished in accidents that it became against the law to ride in the back of open trucks.

 

 

 

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 3:10pm

LOL Pam! When I was typing out that "most of us weren't angels", in the back of my mind I was thinking, "yeah, most of us except Pam!" ROFL!!!

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 3:18pm

I was right there with you, Pam. About the only 'against the rules' things I did was climb and sit on the roof of the Methodist church building (!), and the first 'boyfriend' (ugh) I had would go down a residential winding street at 80mph - drove me nuts!

So far, looks like ds will be a prude like me! I know, I'm sure I don't know everything and it's early, but he's still pretty open with me, and I'll take it as long as I can get.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 3:21pm
I totally agree with your post hydrangea_blue. There are some things you can write off as "normal teen behavior", but drugs and sex are not on that list. Sure, we all did it. And here we are. But there are others who did, and are not here now. After my first post on this thread I have recalled SEVERAL alcohal related fatalities that have touched me in one way or another. All you have to do is watch the news and you see it every week. Auto accidents,and alcohol poisioning, they are not uncommon anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 8:05pm

Exactly what I was trying to say, worded so much better.


My experience has been that are treated as though they are out of control long before they are tend to rebel and become that out of control teen their parents dread having. "If I'm going to wear the label, I might as well at least have the fun of earning it."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 8:51pm

Ha, you sound like my parents...


They were never

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