DD is slowly figuring it out

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
DD is slowly figuring it out
2
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 1:08pm

I was out of town last week (visiting oldest DD). Youngest DD and DH were home together. I didn't any phones from either one complaining about the other (a major improvement).

When I got home, I checked the computer log. DD invited the guy that she cheated on her b/f with last fall over while I was gone. He came over in the afternoon while DH was at work. Apparently they are still attracted to one another. However, I think DD is trying to figure this out - a few days later, she told him that having him over was a mistake and that they should just not even speak to one another. He wants her to break up with b/f so that they don't have to sneak around and can at least be friends. She responded that the last time she did that he went crazy and so did everyone around her and she just doesn't want to go through that again. That really concerns me - I don't think her b/f went crazy although he was upset and yes others did get way to involved but that's the nature of teens. So I personally don't think her reasoning is good her at all. Not to mention the obvious - she shouldn't stay with someone just to keep from upsetting them. She still doesn't get this!! However, I must look for the positive - she realizes that she shouldn't sneak around and is trying to just stay away from this guy. She's taking babysteps and I have too look for the good here.

I'm not going to directly bring up having him over to her but I will probably try to work in a few conversations about being open and honest in relationships. I also want to try to bring up about not staying in a relationship just to protect the other one from hurt. Not quite sure how I'm going to do this but I will figure it out.

It's also going to be hard b/c I will be gone for another week but after that she and I are going to go to her college orientation - 4 - 5 hours of cartime both ways. That's always good for talking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 7:46pm

<<>>

Well, that's the best we can hope for sometimes! I hope you enjoy yourselves on the drive... I'm looking forward to a long drive with my DS this weekend!

Always wishing the best for you,
zz

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 9:13pm

I wonder if she's blaming not being able to break up with bf on him going crazy "like last time" as an excuse. You say he didn't go crazy, but maybe she wants to really stay with bf, but doesn't know how else to make cheater friend go away, so she says bf went crazy last time so she can't break up with him. This makes the lack of break up someone else's fault, not hers. I just wonder, I could be way off base.

It does sound like she's making steps in the right direction.