DD wants to start kissing her boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
DD wants to start kissing her boyfriend
9
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 3:29am

Today my dd whose 13

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 8:17am

I think it's nice that they came to you but I guess I wonder why your dd even HAS a boyfriend at the age of 13. My boys had jr. high 'crushes' but as we didn't allow them to date at such a young age they were all confined to school. My older ds did hold his 'GF's' hand on the school bus on a dare one day and that was the extent of their physical romance. I think instead of your 13 yo kissing boys she should be spending time with her girlfriends, involved with hobbies, etc. I think any time spent with boys should be in a large, well chaperoned group. I know where there's a will there's a way but if your dd only sees the boy at school and the occasional public place with lots of other kids and trusted adults nearby they won't have a lot of time to kiss. Once they start serious kissing it's only a matter of time before they want to go further and IMO 13-14 is very young to handle the emotional aspects of a sexual relationship.

Pam
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 9:05am
I'm in this line too - ds had no interest in dating prior, but wouldn't have been permitted til 16 as far as even group dating, so likely not in a situation to kiss without others being right there. He did date his jr year in hs, and that led to a crushing breakup, so he didn't have another gf til after hs. Now he turns 19 this week and had been dating a lovely girl who will probably be 'the one' - he was very picky, not disinterested when younger, and just wasn't ready til he was more emotionally and physically mature. JMHO.

Sue
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 3:08pm
I'm with everyone else. A 13yo does NOT need a bf, and 13yo's CERTAINLY don't need to start kissing. Until my daughters were 16, their "boyfriends" were kids they sat next to at lunch and on the bus, and talked to OCCASIONALLY on the phone. They did not go to boys' houses, and boys did not come to our house unless it was part of a group, and they were WELL chaperoned.
And my kids' time was involved in schoolwork, homework, chores, extra-curriculars, volunteering, babysitting (and "real" jobs as they got older), and so there really wasn't time for 1 on 1 boyfriends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 3:27pm

I do think that she is too young to start kissing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 8:31pm

It's great that she is talking to you so openly, but I would ask her why she thinks she wants to do this. She may have pressure from her friends or having a BF could be a status symbol. Sometimes when they ask for permission to do something, they're really asking you to tell them no because they're not ready.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 10:15pm

Uh, no mom, they won't come to you when they want to do more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 10:18pm

PS: I think it's always good to have the other parents involved also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 08-09-2011 - 6:13pm

I'd forgotten about the shirt Kimmy... seems like so long ago! ;)

Our little result of "it all started with a kiss" is sleeping in his little pack 'n play right next to me, and I have to tell you, even though he came about 3 years too early (both parents are 20 y/o college students), he's the best blessing I've ever gotten.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Tue, 08-09-2011 - 11:35pm

Gal_power, I thought about you a few times earlier today.