DD15 sneaking candy and granola bars into her room

Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
DD15 sneaking candy and granola bars into her room
16
Thu, 08-29-2013 - 10:18am

Hi all: This may not be a hug problem but I am just puzzled why DD sneaks junk food into her room when I keep reasonable amounts outside.I keep a few 100 calorie pack boxes in the kitchen and do let DD15 and DS10 have icecream/sweets occasionally but not daily. Whenever I clean DD's very messy room (another post by itself), I find all these candy wrappers and junk food boxes. DD says she buys them with the Christmas money or other money presents.  She also bakes cookies and other treats when in the mood - so she is not deprived of sweet stuff. 

DD does need to watch her weight -she is on the higher percentile and is short and so I worry. But I am also trying to figure why she needs to do this when I keep about the same foods outside. Is this her independent streak or something, that she wants to eat what she wants and not what is in the kitchen??? Should I let it go? (DD knows that junk food is bad etc etc. She is also passionate about her karate lessons and fairly active. )

Thank  you so much,

Chimi

Pages

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997

We're the oddballs - as were my parents.  We always left out candy and cookies and had ice cream and snacks on hand, no restrictions. DS is a stick - 6'2.5" and 160 dripping wet.  I've always been slim. I think if you go on about it to her at this sensitive age, it's likely to become more an issue than if you don't.  Maybe, not confrontationally, ask why?  We always said no food in the bedroom, just for the sake of keeping any bugs out, so maybe just take that tack?

Sue

Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
Thank you, Sue - good to get your feedback. I worry because she does gain weight easily and is short. I have told her no eating in her bedroom because of bugs and her room is messy anyway. I think I do I keep enough snack in the kitchen and there is usually some dessert in the fridge. I am just trying to figure out if this is an independence issue or not. If my kids were also skinny, I might not worry about sweets so much. Chimi
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997

Take her shopping with you for the 'snack run' - have her evaluate the nutrition content (don't comment; let her make choices) of what she's selecting and maybe you pick out a couple that have 'bad' nutrition and see what she says - let her feel that 'bad' is ok on occasion but that she should be evaluating what she's eating. DS had that happen in 4th grade - the class was told to bring in snacks and to try to keep them healthy - he got SO health conscious at that age it almost worried me.  And he's pretty much stuck to it.  Stuff like goldfish, pretzels, apples, fruit snacks, yogurt, granola bars are what he just grabs now (he's just turned 21).

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998

Does she restrict her calories in public? Does she talk about dieting? I had a friend in college who would do this. She was stressed about her weight. She'd be an extreme dieter in front of us but if we left any food in the room, it would be gone when we got back. 

It's a little different situation but my DS did this when he was little. He has a host of sensitivities and an over-active gag reflex. Many foods are difficult for him to eat. Often he'd say he was "full" at meals even though he barely touched his food. Then he'd sneak food from the snack basket meant for their packed lunches (granola bars, peanut butter crackers, ect.) For us, it stopped when we found his stash and gave him more options for dinner. I know, not the same issue for you but the point is that he wasn't getting the needed calories at meal time and so making them up later. 

This is just one of many possibilities but some situations of secret snacking that I've experienced.

Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
I see your point. I will take her snack shopping next time and let her pick out a few treats. Thank you!!
Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
DD is not dieting and not at all weight-conscious and not stressed out. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Even tho she is not dieting, she MAY be weight conscious. I would be concerned because this kind of behavior can signal the start of an eating disorder. She is eating in her room to hide the amount of junk she eats. Even if it is not an excessive amount, she is hiding, and that is NOT good. I would take her to the Dr, and have him refer her to a licensed nutritionist/dietitian. Your dd needs to learn how to have a balanced relationship with food.
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

My oldest used to do this too and it drove me crazy.  He was probably about the same age as your DD.  It wasn't even food he bought himself, it was the stuff we kept in the kitchen.  He'd take it into his room and leave the wrappers around.  Occasionally he still does (he's 21 now).

His relationship with food is haphazard.  He forgets to eat and then is ravenous.  Or, it's time to eat but he's not hungry so he eats too little and then his blood sugar drops later.  We are still working on this with him, trying to help him realize that he needs to be proactive about his own food needs.

Almost every girl has body issues, and we have to be super-careful about what we say.  You may think you are not saying anything negative, but even the tiniest comment about her size (or yours) can slip out.  I did not even realize this until my oldest came out as transgender (female-to-male) and I realized how much of what I say is body talk.  I regretted every moment I nagged him (as a girl) to shave his legs, wear more flattering clothes, etc etc etc.  Even now, 3 years after his transition, I still find myself thinking, "His hair is too girlish" rather than looking at it as, you know, just hair and who cares.

It took this extreme a change to get me to realize what I was doing.  Thank God my 18yo DD completely disregarded my negative self-talk.  She is a size 12, cute but not gorgeous, and VERY happy with herself.  I grew up with a mother who thought at age 70 that she should still look the way she did in her early 30s, before she even had me, and her obsession with food and negative self-talk has influenced my entire life.  I'm 51 and many days I find that I am talking to myself just the way she talked to herself.

Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
Wow - thank you for sharing. Your post made me realize that DD sometimes does not eat a proper lunch. We are from India and my in-laws/mother stay with me and I cook traditional Indian meals at lunchtime. DD sometimes doesn't like this and eats very little. I do cook her favorites for dinner like pasta/tacos. So obviously she gets hungry but I guess doesn't tell me about it since it is tiring to cook different types of food for lunch and dinner to suit everybody's tastes. You are so brave to deal with all the changes with your child and I am sure he has realised what a fantastic, supportive mom you have been.
Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
After reading Mahopac's post, I just realised that for various reasons (in my reply to Mahopac), DD eats only a small lunch and I am sure gets hungry quickly. I told DD that she can get her own snacks but they have to be fairly healthy. I am also taking her snack shopping at the next grocery outing. Thank you for replying.

Pages