DD's first breakup

Avatar for sharo63
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
DD's first breakup
4
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 6:35pm
I know teen breakups are as common as can be but, of course when it hits home for the first time it is tough. DD has liked this boy for almost a year (and I have objected for most of it) and now I see signs it is coming to an end. She is handling it all but my heart is breaking for her!
I would love to hear from some veterans!
Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 10:52am
Don't have much in the way of advice for you - just give her plenty of hugs and mabye a little chocolate...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 11:12am
You are right - break ups are common among teens but it still hurts to see your child hurting.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 9:51am

It is so hard to watch them hurt and not be able to prevent it. Unfortunately, learning to deal with this is part of growing up. I want to suggest a few things - first of all, do not say anything bad about the b/f. DD may get defensive b/c she choose him and she could see this as you criticizing her for making that choice. Second, don't push her to talk. She may want to but then again she may not. She may prefer to talk to her friends. Just let her know you are willing to listen and then do just that if she talks. She probably doesn't want advice just a shoulder. Third and probably most important, spoil her a little. Fix her favorite dinner. Sit with her on the couch and watch her favorite movie. Lay a card on her pillow telling her how proud you are of her (I usually make mine).

Unfortunately, this advice is much easier to dispense than it is to follow (except the spoiling part). Keeping my mouth shut is so hard. Naturally mom wants to point out all the bad things about the jerk that broke your DD's heart and of course we want to give all the advice in the world but that's not what she needs right now. She needs to handle this in her own way and her own time under your watchful and loving eye.

Good Luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:34pm

I'm going through something similar right now - my dd did the breakup and she's miserable because of how he's treating her now. This is so tough. Each time I look at my dd, I am more proud of her - but more scared because I know she'll have to go through some tough times in life and I get far too emotional when I see her hurting.

Lots of love - maybe take her on a shopping trip if you can - be there when she's ready to talk and know that this too will pass ... for both of you.

Hang in there.
Jem