Dealing with a dying parent
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|Wed, 08-22-2012 - 2:58pm|
Not sure this is the right place for this, but I am the mother of two teens and we all have to deal with this. We live in Massachusetts; my parents live in the Seattle area. My dad is dying of metastatic prostate cancer. He has already outlived his prognosis of one year, but from here on out, it looks as if all the news is going to be bad news.
We've been out to the west coast 5 times in the past year. The last time was a few weeks ago, when we helped my parents move out of their 3 BR house into a small condo in a retirement community. My kids were troopers. We had a lot more packing and moving to do than we anticipated (because my parents refused to throw ANYTHING out) and they worked their butts off during a heat wave trying to get all the stuff (seriously, who needs 73 neck ties?) loaded and moved into their new place.
Where we really stumbled was in knowing what to say. I am generally a positive person, and I found myself saying stupidly optimistic things whenever my mom would say something sad. I know she is in despair anticipating the loss of someone to whom she has been married for over 50 years, so there really is nothing anyone can say that doesn't sound wretchedly stupid and trite.
In any case, I know some of you have BTDT, so I'm wondering what on earth you said to comfort the likely surviving spouse? The kids and I are sincere Christians and I know my parents also believe, but they really don't like it when we bring up matters of faith. Not sure why...maybe that will change down the line.