Definition STUPID=ME

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Definition STUPID=ME
10
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 12:37pm

I never thought I'd get to the point I would recommend "Be a selfish, stingy ass" to anyone- but I'm definately there now. You may remember the Coroner came to my house to tell me my youngest daughter's dad is dead. Why? I'm NOW ASSuming it's because I have his only child. He wanted her to have his belongings. She's 15 and they needed an adult to claim him and I had never been married to him so I gave them his mom& dads info.


Turns out THEY- without a word to US, got his house key and spent 2 days clearing out anything they could find worth MONEY and when they got there yesterday to find a note on the door that the landlord left saying the place was going to be locked up since she hadn't heard from him and the rent isn't payed- ONLY THEN did they decide to call here and say we better get over there and see if there's anything "we" want before its locked up.


We found all kinds of instructions, but no items, such as laptop computer, big screen plasma tv, a several disc stereo thing is gone but some of the surround sound speakers are still on the table, he has been a serious archer for as long as I've known him and there was ZERO archery equipment, no guitars (should be at least 2) and I could go on...


Last night when I questioned who might have been in there, Gpa did admit to taking the Plasma, ...


I am absolutely astounded. I am heartbroken for my daughter, and so disgusted I can't stand it. They are spreading around his "stuff" to themselves and bro and sis I believe, because when I mentioned the ONLY TWO items my DD WANTS, the ONLY TWO items she asked for, Gma started hemming and hawwing about it. My DD wants a gold necklace he always wore- mind you I bought him that necklace off the "home shopping network" before she was even born and he never took it off, and a class ring (that isn't even his class) with a red stone, probably glass, but she remembers him always wearing that ring. So Gma says- well sis says she gave him a necklace... and I had to get off the phone before I say something I regret.


OH! And "the family gathering" they want- is HIS ONLY CHILDS FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL. Her choice- she chooses SCHOOL.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 1:28pm
Is "they" his parents and siblings? If that's the case, I might consult with a lawyer (even a free or *cheap* consult) about who his next of kin legally would be (I'd thought that it was children before parents and siblings). You might find out that unless it was specifically willed to them, that every last article belongs to the next of kin, which might turn out to be your DD. Even if it could only go to small claims court, you might have a strong case in getting everything back.
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 1:57pm

YOU did the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sat, 08-28-2010 - 1:35pm

i am going through something like this with a friend of mine. she is in real bad health. we had to get papers signed. her next of kin is her father.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Sat, 08-28-2010 - 2:41pm

Yes, IF THERE IS NO NAMED PAPERWORK, the living parents are next. Even if there is papers, WE will never know because they cleaned it all out. THEY have his personal papers. ALL of his family KNOW what he has always said VERBALLY about his only child and belongings should something happen to him.


I have to go because I'm watching GS until tomorrow I think, but I thank you very much for the reply. I KNOW my DD isn't the only kid this has ever happened to, it's just REALLY PERSONAL this time and I KNOW, had I not named his parents, the local PD would never have persued further, not for a person of his current lifestyle.


"Doing the right thing" is NOT a comfort. I feel I very much DID THE WRONG THING for MY CHILD- and I will never get over that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Sat, 08-28-2010 - 3:30pm
Please don't feel guilty. Nobody expects to be scr*w*d by family. Grandparents are supposed to love and protect, not steal from their grandkids. Your kids got ripped off by evil people and it can happen to anyone. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT (caps used only for emphasis...I'm not shouting).
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 08-28-2010 - 7:46pm

Actually if a person dies & they have no spouse but parents and a child, the CHILD is the next of kin & inherits everything, not the parents.

When my ex's brother died, we went to help clean out his apt. w/ his sister. Not that they guy had much but anything that was valuable (like his TV) my SIL took. I think we got a lamp & a canopener. Not that we really wanted anything but some people are really greedy. It was ok for us to go down & help clean & drive an hour each way. I really think at some times death brings out the worst in people. If your DD really wants these things, contact a lawyer--they are basically stealing his things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 4:50am

we consulted a lawyer. (i know there is a lawyer on the board).

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Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 6:25am

Musiclover IS the lawyer.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 8:11am
So many laws vary greatly from state to state, it wouldn't surprise me if the laws applicable to this situation did too. Irregardless of whether what the parents did was *legally* wrong, IMO it was *morally* wrong. I'm also a strong believer in "what goes around comes around" - they will get what's coming to them in the end.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 6:54pm
it has to be different from state to state. i live in ohio. not sure what state musiclover lives in.
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