Desperate Mother of Senior Boy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Desperate Mother of Senior Boy
9
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 2:28am
My son is a high school senior and has just stopped working. He is in danger of not graduating and has been warned by the head of school and his counselor. He has already been accepted into college, but I think he just doesn't believe that not graduating is a real possibility. He doesn't want to hear anything I have to say and tells me to just "trust him" but I can't help but be beside myself worrying...which is why I'm up at 2:30 in the morning typing this. Any words of wisdom? Any alternatives if he *doesn't* graduate?
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 8:11am

Sorry to hear about that......your situation could be ours in a few years as our son is doing the same thing, but in the 10'th grade.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 8:21am

Thanks for your message. I've been in touch with his teachers, and I know what he needs to do...which he says he is doing, but I've heard that before.
The really frustrating thing is that he is so smart, and all his teachers say that he is perfectly capable of doing "A" work with no problem. He just doesn't seem to have motivation or interest to do it, even with the end so clearly in sight.
I have talked to him about taking a year off and working or doing a gap year program, but neither of those options is a possibility if he doesn' even graduate.
The thing is, he is a good kid....doesn't drink or do drugs, has some nice friends....it's that school is a huge problem for him right now and he won't (or can't) tell me why.

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 9:27am
He could be suffering from some anxiety about leaving high school, starting college and becoming a young man. Its a huge life transition going from "child" to "adult". Does he have anyone that he can speak to besides yourself? Someone he respects and listens to? Its not that he shouldn't listen to his parents but sometimes people need to hear it from someone they see as a detached party.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 9:28am

I would trust him

What the teachers told me about DS2 was that he knew how to play the system. By senior year they are well aware what needs to be turned in and what will be overlooked, how many days an assignment can be late, and what they can redo or not redo. I always freaked at the grades that came at midterm and he always pulled it up(not because I freaked out, mind you)

Worst case scenario would be summer school, I imagine. And only classes required for graduation(not college acceptance)would apply-English, for example.If he blows off math and your school only required 3 yrs, he is fine(and, trust me, he knows this)

I was told, because I too had to ask, that only top tier colleges will reject an acceptance based on GPA senior year. Now, he would have to graduate-but again,be sure you are sorting out minimal grad requirements vs what he is likely taking

Hang in there

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 9:36am
Thanks for the support. I guess I should trust him. It's just so hard when I see the possibility of him chucking it all right now when he is so close. It's hard for me not to get anxious and want to step in. I guess I'll just try to let it be and see what happens. Hopefully, he'll pull it out!
Tracy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 9:40am
He does have a counselor that he has been going to who he seems to really like and respect. I have spoken to the counselor and voiced my concern so he is aware, but he isn't allowed to really share any more with me because my son is 18. The thing I worry about is my son's ostrich stance....he would prefer to ignore and not deal with things that are troublesome. I'm afraid that he is just in denial over this whole thing.
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 9:51am
Your son sounds so much like mine!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 8:11am
It think it's some type of avoidence issue....common with teens, they do shut down sometimes. I can only imagine how stressed out you are. Can you find a young tutor (preferably in their 20's) who you can hire till the end of the school year? If you get a tutor your kid likes i.e., younger, cool, hip, whatever, they can really "enjoy" the time spent getting the extra help. This will take some stress off of both of you.
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 11:11am
Thanks for the suggestion.