Dilemma -16 year old son wants to join in on fun with friends and be honest with me at the same time

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Dilemma -16 year old son wants to join in on fun with friends and be honest with me at the same time
30
Thu, 01-26-2012 - 10:30am

My subject line sounds funny but it's true that it's caused me a dilemma.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001

I'd let him go to parent supervised parties, provided that you know and trust the parents, but tell him he needs to be home by curfew.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I think that's great that your DS talks to you and doesn't want to lie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007

Thanks!

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998

I don't see why supervised parties aren't allowed. So the driving curfew is midnight, lots of us had to be home before midnight growing up and in our area, that's still pretty much the standard. Seems like he'd rather go to part of a party than not at all. My DD is a little younger (14) but her friends are all 15-18 and have supervised parties all the standard end time is 10pm. Certainly, I'd nix the unsupervised parties but no reason he can't attend a supervised one with a curfew.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007

Absolutely and that is not an issue I have at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007

Well, and to clarify this:

My issue is only with the following:

  • Co-ed parties that are all-night
  • Parties where no parents are there
  • Parties that include alcohol

And any combination of the above.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998

If that is the case, I guess I'm not seeing the dilema. You say you let him got to supervised parties with a midnight curfew. That's reasonable. If he's staying home because his friends aren't having those sorts of parties then oh well...

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998

To answer this post, no not EVERYONE is doing this. Not even MOST are doing this. It tends to be a select group of kids throwing these kinds of parties and while they might be "good" kids in other regards, still not kids I'd particularly want my kid hanging with because they obviously aren't well supervised and getting access to alcohol illegally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998

I have three boys aged 21, 19, and 15 (16 next month).

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

I'm almost 60, and *I* used the line "But EVERYONE is doing XYZ".

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