I am no expert, but I would say punish. First of all, how old are we talking. Teenagers can be so unpredictable, but as they get a little older, that should die down. I know it did with us. My daughter was always a little lippy with us. Take the computer, take the cell phone, ground. That is what we did. I always yelled back a little and asked her how it felt to be talked down to. It isn't very nice. She is 19 now, really settled down a lot. But I would not allow it to continue, I believe in "show them who is boss"
Well I'm not saying my teen is always polite but our family rule is you NEVER call anyone out of name. When she says something that I feel is disrespectful I remind her if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all or go to your room by yourself, shut the door and talk all you want. As far as swearing she doesn't in front of me. I'm not so naive though to believe she never does. It's just considered unacceptable in our home.
One, when you are in the middle of his/her tirade. I walked away from DS2 a few times when he was angry and yelling. Luckily I didnt deal with name calling and the swearing was 'general' so to speak. Still, I know how emotional and tense those moments are and a few times just walking away kept my sanity. Its not like when theyre screaming 2 month old infants and we cant walk away for a few moments peace because of safety issues
Two, when its over and done with. I think punishment is a good idea. Dealt out when you are calm. It will be more likely to be realistic when not yelling in anger(youre grounded until youre 30)Or...let the current episode go and say "Next time you speak to me like you did yesterday, the following in going to happen. You will lose your cell phone for 2 weeks"
Three, examine the roots. Sometimes they really do have a point. I think we are quick to point out how getting older means greater responsibility but slow to open up the rules and give out some privileges. Maybe its time to loosen up on bed time or something benign
For me, I guess it depends on the circumstances. I mean, are we talking about a teen who "loses" it in the heat of an argument and says something they quickly regret and are apologetic about it? Or are we talking about chronic disrespect with frequent name calling and swearing? If it is the latter, it sounds like you have a problem that started a long time ago, and might be a lot harder to fix. A "temper tantrum" I would punish and forgive - but a true, general lack of respect might need some family counselling!
I am no expert, but I would say punish. First of all, how old are we talking. Teenagers can be so unpredictable, but as they get a little older, that should die down. I know it did with us. My daughter was always a little lippy with us. Take the computer, take the cell phone, ground. That is what we did. I always yelled back a little and asked her how it felt to be talked down to. It isn't very nice. She is 19 now, really settled down a lot. But I would not allow it to continue, I believe in "show them who is boss"
Andie
I think there are three levels
One, when you are in the middle of his/her tirade. I walked away from DS2 a few times when he was angry and yelling. Luckily I didnt deal with name calling and the swearing was 'general' so to speak. Still, I know how emotional and tense those moments are and a few times just walking away kept my sanity. Its not like when theyre screaming 2 month old infants and we cant walk away for a few moments peace because of safety issues
Two, when its over and done with. I think punishment is a good idea. Dealt out when you are calm. It will be more likely to be realistic when not yelling in anger(youre grounded until youre 30)Or...let the current episode go and say "Next time you speak to me like you did yesterday, the following in going to happen. You will lose your cell phone for 2 weeks"
Three, examine the roots. Sometimes they really do have a point. I think we are quick to point out how getting older means greater responsibility but slow to open up the rules and give out some privileges. Maybe its time to loosen up on bed time or something benign
Hang in there-it does get better