It's one thing for our kids to occasionally disrespect us - it's all part of the raising-a-teen gig. But when some other kid - talks to YOU personally on the phone - / -hears you say NO -/ and disregards that NO.... that's over the top and needs to be addressed.
This is a hot button of mine; teenagers who use my home as the "excuse" while prancing off to do something else. I don't tolerate being played the chump. In middle school DD had a friend who did this-stayed at DD's birthday party long enough to make an appearance, then took off to a boys house for an evening of naked swimming. DD didn't care - didn't really like the girl much anyway, but you bet I called the parents.
I would definitely speak to the other girl's parents so they know what happened. I also would not allow my DD to have any sleepovers (at my house or elsewhere) for some period of time. I don't even know why you let the girl hang out at your house today, because I would have made her go home first thing in the morning (especially with you not being home!). And FWIW, I think midnight is kind of a late curfew for a 16 y.o.
I probably wouldn't rat out bff either... this is coming from the standpoint of having seen what emotionally/mentally abusive parenting can do to a kid, and how she might have to pay way above and beyond what is reasonable for this offense.
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I'd rat her out.. definitely.
It's one thing for our kids to occasionally disrespect us - it's all part of the raising-a-teen gig. But when some other kid - talks to YOU personally on the phone - / -hears you say NO -/ and disregards that NO.... that's over the top and needs to be addressed.
This is a hot button of mine; teenagers who use my home as the "excuse" while prancing off to do something else. I don't tolerate being played the chump. In middle school DD had a friend who did this-stayed at DD's birthday party long enough to make an appearance, then took off to a boys house for an evening of naked swimming. DD didn't care - didn't really like the girl much anyway, but you bet I called the parents.
I would definitely speak to the other girl's parents so they know what happened. I also would not allow my DD to have any sleepovers (at my house or elsewhere) for some period of time. I don't even know why you let the girl hang out at your house today, because I would have made her go home first thing in the morning (especially with you not being home!). And FWIW, I think midnight is kind of a late curfew for a 16 y.o.
EJ
I personally would not call the BFF's parents.
I personally would not call the BFF's parents.
I probably wouldn't rat out bff either... this is coming from the standpoint of having seen what emotionally/mentally abusive parenting can do to a kid, and how she might have to pay way above and beyond what is reasonable for this offense.
I would be finding out when she got there.
I'd definitely mention it to the other parents and ban sleep overs for awhile.
I don't get parents who let their kids run and just come home by curfew if then any night of the week...
Since you *don't* know her parents, I would not rat her out.
I've been in similar situations with my 15 y/o DD and friends.
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