Do I ask??
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Do I ask??
| Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:46pm |
Guess I haven't been on here for awhile. I'm feeling abit more comfortable with dd's bf. I took her about a month ago and put her on the pill. Dh doesn't like bf at all. He's nice to his face, but behind his back, he doesn't like him.
So my question is, now that she's on the pill, is it bad that I ask her if she's having sex with her bf? Since she hasn't been on the pill for two months yet, I'm a little worried that if they are, does she know that if she misses a pill, she could get pregnant? I kind of want to know and I don't want to know. I know that when I found out that she lost her virginity with her last bf I felt sick about it.
She finally got her first job working at a clothing store. She doesn't really like it. There are a few things why she doesn't like it. But I told her to give it a chance since she's only been there a week or so. So she works there about 5-8 hours a day, then she wants to see bf after work. But she been feeling alittle sick the last few days. She's even been sick to her stomach a couple times. She hasn't been eating properly before she got sick. I'm worried that she's getting sick because she hasn't been eating. Sometimes she'll only eat one meal a day.
So bf has been treating her very well. He buys her things, takes her out to movies, takes her out for suppers. She's feeling alittle guilty that he buys everything. She doesn't have any money yet.
So my question is, now that she's on the pill, is it bad that I ask her if she's having sex with her bf? Since she hasn't been on the pill for two months yet, I'm a little worried that if they are, does she know that if she misses a pill, she could get pregnant? I kind of want to know and I don't want to know. I know that when I found out that she lost her virginity with her last bf I felt sick about it.
She finally got her first job working at a clothing store. She doesn't really like it. There are a few things why she doesn't like it. But I told her to give it a chance since she's only been there a week or so. So she works there about 5-8 hours a day, then she wants to see bf after work. But she been feeling alittle sick the last few days. She's even been sick to her stomach a couple times. She hasn't been eating properly before she got sick. I'm worried that she's getting sick because she hasn't been eating. Sometimes she'll only eat one meal a day.
So bf has been treating her very well. He buys her things, takes her out to movies, takes her out for suppers. She's feeling alittle guilty that he buys everything. She doesn't have any money yet.

I would ask
Not sure how I would do it but I would want to know if her sickness was pregnancy related, for sure!
BTW she isnt supposed to like her job ;) She is supposed to say "oh, geez, I dont want to do this for the rest of my life; I better stay in school"
I think it's important to ask now, since you do appear to have some reason to worry if there is a chance she could be pregnant.
I would ask.
My DD is sexually active and I make it a point to have open conversations with her about the importance of protection and making sure she doesn't miss any of her pills. I always ask her when she has her period and I'm always on the lookout for tampon wrappers in her bathroom trash. A few weeks ago DD's bf brought her home sick and she was very dizzy and without hesitation I asked bf to give us a few minutes and I asked DD if she had missed any pills and if she thought she might possibly be pregnant. She assured me that she hadn't missed any and that they were very careful. It turns out that she was probably suffering from heat exhaustion since they had just gotten back from an all day picnic out in the hot sun but they still sweated it out until she got her period because of course no bc is 100% and I made sure that I told both DD and her bf that several times and if they didn't want to worry like that again then the only way to be 100% sure to avoid a pregnancy is not to have sex!
I was very uncomfortable at first speaking with DD about these issues because even though I had always had an open communication with her it is so different when the time actually arrives. When I found out that she was no longer a virgin I felt sick too - for 3 days!! But you have already taken her to the dr's and I'm assuming had discussions with her since she is now on the pill. So continue to talk to her. And if there is the possibility that she may be pregnant she will be scared and want you there for her even if she doesn't act like it.
I did not ever ask DD but it became pretty obvious to me when she was crying to him one night on the phone that she was late. I personally wouldn't ask. If she's on the pill, as with any medication, she should know about side-effects, what to do if she misses a dose, drug interactions, etc. I would approach that from a standpoint of I'm concerned for your overall health since you are taking a prescription medication so you are going to learn about this drug. She will probably argue some things with you b/c her friends know so much more than you so be prepared to back up your information and try to not take it personally. This will probably be an uncomfortable talk but one that I saw as a necessity.
Also, the pills may be contributing to her nausea - I suggested to DD that she take it at night so she could sleep through that phase.