Do the parents of my son's girlfriend like him "too much"?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Do the parents of my son's girlfriend like him "too much"?
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Tue, 09-18-2012 - 5:08pm

Hello,

I am the mum of a 14 year old boy and I have some concerns about how his relationship with his first serious girlfriend is developing. Or rather, my main concern is with the girlfriends parents.

My son Pete met this girl Kate, while they were on a summer rec league swim team together though they go to the same school and must have known each other prior to this summer. Anyhow, they quickly decided to try and make a go of some kind of relationship. Pete has had crushes before and the occasional girl mooning over him but never anything serious.

I am still not really happy that Pete decided to have a girlfriend, I would much rather he didn't while still in school but my husband tells me that would be unrealistic. 

Anyhow, we got to know Kate reasonably well over the summer, nice kid, very bright, quite beautiful, superb athlete. Really can't dislike her, much as I want to.

Her parents on the other hand seem to like our son as much as Kate herself does. They also first met him when Kate introduced him to them and never appeared to have anything but approval of the relationship and affection for our son.

I am almost creeped out by it.

They have continued to invite him to dinner and on family outings, hikes, kayaking, etc. Originally I thought they were just trying to get to know him but this has been going on for months and there seems to be nothing they don't want to include him in.

We haven't included Kate in anything and we're not going to. I made it clear to her that I do not approve of my son having a girlfriend and I will only tolerate her as long as she behaves herself and doesn't push too far.

Again, I can't really say anything bad about Kate's family, they're really outgoing, respected in the community, involved as parents. Kate has two younger sisters who are both sweet and well mannered. The dad, especially likes Pete and seems to just love introducing Pete to people as Kate's boyfriend.

Aren't parents of pretty girls supposed to drive off the first real boyfriend of their oldest daughter, or at least scare the living hell out of him, rather then embrace him and practically make him a member of their own family.

Now they are asking to have Pete join them on a four day vacation at a lake house owned by Kate's grandparents. I am drawing the line at that, not the least because they were unclear or not terribly fussed about what the sleeping arrangements might be.

I am not sure what they are thinking but I sure as heck am not going to allow any possibility of my son sleeping with their daughter even if they might think it ok.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

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Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000

I am glad you went! My dd did and still does, want her dad and I to meet the bf's parents. I never got that one either. While I wanted to know the boys, didn't see the point in spending holidays, with his parents... BUT by mingling with them, it can give you a feeling of peace to a degree. Though her bf her sophmore year, acted like a jerk in the end, his mom was a 'keeper'! She is an only child, and my hope is that she gets not just a dh who loves and adores her but that his family will too. (she was to get married this past March, but he dumped her last year, and his mother did NOT my dd well...)

My point is, it sounds like your son's gf's family is a good one, that likes him, and appreciates him as well. AND as a mother of a daughter, I guarantee you that if a boy, EVER had come and asked dh's permissiion.... :smileyhappy:

Will this relationship last? Who knows. but incase it does, it is better to not have things too awkward with her family.

 

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