Do You Agree?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Do You Agree?
15
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 9:22am

Our DS15 is pretty level headed, good kid,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 9:34am

I'm sure you've read my pot smoking post below.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 9:51am

You're the parent and he's the child so of course you have the right to set the rules. No matter how good, smart, etc. teens are many if not most of them go through a phase where they are going to test those rules. And the 'everybody else can do it' has been around for a long time. Just remind him that you aren't 'everybody else's' mom. We, too, had the rule that they couldn't be at home or at someone's home with no parents as young teens. By the time they were 15 we would let them have a TRUSTED male friend whose parents we knew over if we went out for dinner or they could go to those friends' homes if their parents were gone. We kept the no girls over unsupervised all through high school, though. Obviously 'where there's a will there's a way' but it didn't means that we were going to make it easy for them!

Hang in there. I'd like to say it will pass soon but in reality - he's probably going to be angry at you for one reason or another for the next few years! The storming out of the house for hours and not knowing where he was would have bothered me. I'd make sure he knows that if that happens again there will be swift consequences. Slamming into his room and listening to music or out to the yard to shoot baskets or something is one thing. Did you find out where he went?





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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 9:58am
Yes, you did the right thing and I've been there X 2. You must stick to your rules..both my boys hated our house, it was boring, nothing to do, wanted to hang out with friends, yada yada yada!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 10:02am

You are right Pam, that I would find out where he went.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 10:04am

Thank you. I always treasure your advice in particular, jlsjjsmom, if you are the

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 10:23am

I have a really good friend who has always tried to maintain a close relationship with her kids, and she would talk about how hard it would be when the time came for them to leave.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 10:53am
Yup you did. One time when I said no to my DD, a senior, was hoping to spend the night at a friends with a bunch of kids, and I knew the mom would let them party and she had a boyfriend, I said no. She exploded that I was the only one!!! Imagine that, ya right, in her group of friends maybe. She raced out of the house, took her car on a long drive, cried - carried on, upset the heck out of me. But, she came home and I said, sorry it's still no. She had to come home at midnight. She did. She survived. So will your DS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 11:20am
Hey conmama! Those were the days, weren't they? This board will always be near and dear to my heart and I'm Facebook friends with several that have come and gone over the years. Do you have Facebook? If you want to connect that way, too, email me through my profile! I'd hate to lose track of you!
Edited to add - got to figure out how to make the siggy picture smaller!




June 2010





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Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 11:27am
I totally agree! I'm sorry he is still mad at you, but you have to set ground rules, and stick to them. Great parenting, BTW, for now backing down.

I tend to see (now) that teens get the angriest when they know they're wrong. It's a defense mechanism, deflection. If they can make you see that you are the one that is wrong, then they get their way. Stick to your guns and he will honestly thank you for it later.

{{{HUGS}}}





iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2010
In reply to: amomofone1
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 11:32am
If you feel you did the right thing then majority of opinions shouldn't matter. On the other hand 'situations' can happen even if parents are home, as some parents will allow the couple in the bedroom with a door closed or just not check on them, and sometimes they happen elsewhere.

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