Do you check Facebook/Myspace?
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 08-14-2007 - 8:47pm |
I have a question for everyone. Do you ever look at your child's Facebook/Myspace? I do occasionally check my dd's Facebook just to see what's happening. I sure it may seem like an invasion of privacy (at least to my dd) but I do feel that this isn't a journal or a diary, it's basically a public blog.
Well, the other day, I did see a comment from my dd to her cousin, who lives nearby, thanking her for getting her out of a jam at a concert. I have to admit I got very concerned about this and was worried that maybe she had been drinking or something (I have never caught her drinking before) but I know that a couple of her friends have been caught in the past drinking with other friends. Well, I thought I should have a talk with her and ask her if she needed to tell me anything about the concert and that I had seen her comments on Facebook. Well, she assured me that nothing happened, that one of her friends had ditched her at the concert so she hung out with her cousin instead. Then she blew up with me about looking at her Facebook. I basically answered that whether she liked it or not, I would look at it from time to time. It was funny how she was trying to turn this into a situation of me doing something wrong.
Well, anyway, am I the only parent out there who looks at their kid's Facebook? I really didn't want to tell her that I look at it but I was concerned about her safety.
Thanks for the input. Di

Pages
Yes, My rule was that if the boys had myspace or facebook that I had their passwords. we had an agreement that I wouldn't go into the personal mailbox, but I must admit that I have at times. I actually helped save a childs life who was talking about killing himself to my son privately on his myspace. I have no problem with it...,.it is my duty as a parent to keep my child as safe as I can. I don't see it as an invasion of privacy when they know that I check it. I know many other parents that do as well, and I always remind the boys that they should watch what they say as there are other parents "watching" them.
My opinion here...please no bashing.
Julie
LOL you gotta love these teens! How in the world can they think it's an invasion of privacy if it's posted on the internet for all to see??? And if you used her password to access it, well, she would have had to give you that password, so what did she expect??? LOL
I have to admit, I've only looked at the boys' MS places a few times. Actually, I rarely *ever* look at my older's (he's 20) except when I'm looking at his little brother's and see messages from him. All I've seen are pretty minor "wassup" type stuff on ds16's. I will also admit I don't get around very well in one so I don't know if I'm missing the *important* stuff or not. :-0
Tell your dd if she wants that much privacy to start writing letters. ;) If it's on the 'net, then it's fair game.
Absolutely I check - I actually have a myspace page. initially it was to contact people for my class reunion and I had a spy account to really check on kids I love.
I have to laugh at the respect their privacy comment - hello - it is the internet - they are putting things out there for anyone to see... internet privacy in cases like this are an oxymoron! I think far too often kids take advantage of parents who are not internet savvy - I am always willing to show parents their kids sites too. Jobs, coaches, colleges and many others are looking and teenagers don't always have the ability to see around the adult world corners! Reading the safety tips on all the pages and always maintaining access to the pages is smart - not interference. My 14 year old could only have a myspace if I was a friend.
Courtney
Courtney
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom
I agree about checking your teens profiles and so forth on line to keep them safe. I just don't know how. How do you check their friends site. I would like to check this one guy my daughter ntalks to. She showed me his photo and it looked too suggestive in one shot which I told her...But I don't know how to go on and find more.
I do know away to run a check on anyone they meet on line once you get their real name to make sure they are predators--older men on the look out for kids. The local school teaches parents here and suggests we do it to keep our kids safe. So I thinbk most people involved with children's welfare think we should know what's going on. I appreciate any info you could share. Kids can have fun--and that's ok. I don't want to take that a way...but I want to be aware of any adult trying to get friendly or inappropriate behavior in gneral that needs guidance. thanks
Hi Sunnymom. I wasn't sure from your post if your dd has a Facebook or Myspace account. My dd has a Facebook account. She used to have a Myspace but switched several months ago. Anyhoo, if your dd is using Facebook, the way to see another kid's page is to just click on their name in one of the messages that they sent to your dd and it should bring up their page. This should work because that kid and your dd have accepted each other as friends so, as a result, she has permission to look at his page. To be honest, I think a lot more parents might be tempted to look at their kid's page if they knew what was on them, especially the photo albums. Many of the kid's photo albums show them drinking and their friends' drinking. These kids are really naive...they don't realize that there are parents who are looking at these sites. I've also had friends who have told me that their kids aren't any trouble so they don't look at their kid's site, but I have seen things that would probably really concern them. Maybe some parents just don't want to know...?
I agree with the other posters that Facebook is NOT private. If a kid wants privacy then have a diary. It's funny...I told my dd a long time ago that I would check her Facebook periodically but she still blew a gasket last night about me checking it. At that point, I told her that the more upset she got, the more it seemed like she may have something to hide.
Thanks to everyone who has posted...I feel much better now. Glad to know I'm not the only snooper :-)
this paranoid mom.) It is helpful to hear what other moms do--and it seems they are like you, which I respect. I'm so eager to see her adjust to this new move, adjust to this new school (where I'm praying they don't reject her because of the acne), and to get over what she endured in the old, snobby school. Her sister who is 13 (who is built like a model, an honor student, etc and a grade behind the oldest) begged to leave the school too when she got to sixth grade and said nothing can be worst than that school in terms of academic pressure and social snobbery and cliqueish and mean girl syndrome. I have just counted on her sharing and she has never declined showing it to me when I asked.So, this will be hard for me to do now, I must confess. This is going to be difficult asking her for her passsword, when I don't want to give her mine especially. I'm going to ask her friends moms down here so she won't think I'm the only monitoring mom. But I'm betting her friends mom don't have the password. They are nice friends--bright from great familes. But I always am the odd mom out, being stricter than the rest. I don't want her knowing what I post on this site for example. Well, this has been helpful for me hearing what you all do. Does your daughter ever express dislike that she can't have privacy. Anyway,thanks for listening to this long letter and your helpful response.I have two dd the same age as you.
I used to say, "Don't do anything that you'd be mortified about if it appeared on the front page of the paper and you'll be fine"!! Well, of course, that little bit of advice only goes so far.
I have a MySpace and a Facebook. The MySpace was so I could keep an eye on dd17, but then we finally just shut her down with MySpace because she simply could not handle herself with it. The Facebook was also initially set up as a spying device, hahaha, but I soon realized that I couldn't see anything without my kiddos knowing I was on there and invited as a friend. So, they invited me as a friend and I can see some stuff. I am sure they primarily use the email tool, but it is fun to see their pictures and wall posts. Of course, they are older now so it's more of a way to keep in touch with dd19 and my sil and exh.
Obviously, when they are younger, I expected to have all passwords and I did have them. DD17 still uses the same password for basically everything so I guess technically I still have it. DD19 is, IMO, on her own in this regard. She knows how to behave and handle herself responsibly, so I do not have her password, except for her bank accounts.
Pages