Do you let your kids try alcohol?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Do you let your kids try alcohol?
23
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 3:25pm

I have heard opinions on both sides of this issue so I'd be interested in hearing responses.

I'm asking whether or not you would let your (underage) kids try alcohol in your own home. Obviously, they can't order it in a bar and I'm not talking about having a party or giving it to anyone else's kids, which is obviously stupid.

Sure, I know it's illegal but when I was a teen, my dad would actually order a drink for me in a restaurant (the drinking age then was 18). I come from an Italian family who usually had wine w/ a Sunday or holiday dinner, not every night. Later on, I realized that my dad was probably an alcoholic who didn't like to drink alone. When I went to college and it was legal, I hardly ever drank. I have never liked the taste of beer and mostly there were keg parties. I used to go to a party w/ my own can of Tab (Diet Coke hadn't been invented yet, that's how old I am.) Even now, my DH can't drink cause he's on medication and even when we go out, I'm more likely to order soda than wine. Once in a while, I'll have a glass, but we are hardly big drinkers. I have actually told my 17 yo DD that if she really has this urge to try a drink, I'll let her have one at home. So far, she doesn't care. She has tried sips of beer and wine and didn't like either. Of course, she hasn't tried any of those nice fruity drinks that taste great.

I also remember that when we went on our class trip to Italy (where there was no drinking age at that time, some kids really went wild. To me, it was no big deal.)

Now I have read that this is the totally wrong approach, that parents should never under any circumstances let their kids try alcohol. I wonder if that's true. Of course, if my DD wanted to try drugs, I wouldn't supply that since I have never tried any and certainly wouldn't know where to get it, but one diff. is that drugs will always be illegal, while eventually she will be old enough to drink and I don't want her to go crazy. It really worried me when I hear stories about college kids binge drinking and dying or getting into accidents. A couple of years ago, 2 girls in her school did die from a drunk driving accident, so I know that did have an impact on her. Her close friend's sister was supposed to be w/ those girls that night except that she was grounded.

What do you think is the best way to keep kids from drinking excessively?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 8:20am
Yes we have let our kids try alcohol, and at family parties or special functions I will allow them to have a drink or two. When I was growing up my parents allowed us to do the same and we learned to respect the use of alcohol in moderation. My dh on the otherhand grew up in an extremely strict home, by the time he was of legal drinking age he had already had several serious drunken driving accidents. I come from a long line of alcoholics, our kids know the pain our family has endured because of this. I feel if you let them experiment in your presence they will learn to be responsible and I won't have to worry about them trying to sneak it because it's not a "forbidden fruit".
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 9:33pm

No, I have not given my kids alcohol. They are both underage and here, it is against the law. The drinking age is 19. I believe that the Laws are not "suggestions" and have brought up my kids with a strong respect for the Laws of the Land. My oldest is now in university,away from home. She has no interest in drinking. She doesn't even drink coffee. It just seems so pointless to her. My youngest is the same.

I find the logic that you have to train kids to know how to drink illogical. It assumes that they HAVE TO DRINK. Alcohol is not a necessary drug.

You teach children by example and by bringing up focused,responsible young adults. The "Forbidden Fruit" concept doesn't come into the picture. I have never said to my kids don't drink or smoke. I didn't have to. My kids don't even drink soft drinks or coffee.

We have no beer in the house;just not interested in the stuff. So, the kids don't see Daddy grabbing a beer after work. We don't have hard alcohol either. All we have is Red Wine,selected for a good meal and a special occasion.

Neither my husband and I drank in high school so this could be genetic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 7:19pm

In case you didn't know, red wine does have alcohol in it. Don't take this the wrong way, but your post comes on sounding just a tad "holier than thou". It's a good thing that your kids are perfect little angels that would never think of doing the wrong thing (at least not in front of you) but the rest of us are living in a different world. None of us are perfect last time I checked, although your kids sound like they come pretty close. More power to you. What are you doing on this board?

This post was all about the fact that alcohol is not illegal and whether you like it or not, is served at many celebrations such as weddings, anniversaries, etc. Some of us haven't taught our kids that alcohol is something to be afraid of, either. I'm not saying that you have to drink alcohol, but it is a part of our society and will come up again and again. And there are many teens, despite your experience with your own, that do view anything as "forbidden fruit" as something they want to engage in, if for nothing else than to spite their parents.

And by the way, my own parents never kept alcohol in their house - and I never drank with them, but plenty when they weren't around. I couldn't stand the fact that my dad considered anyone who had so much as a glass of wine as a budding alcoholic. As tobylady stated, the research shows that either extreme is unhealthy.

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