Does this sound right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Does this sound right?
6
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 11:55am
I've done alot of thinking about why my "used to be" fashion conscious daughter is going thru this sloppy stage. I've noticed in the past few months that she has grown a bit bigger in the boob area...not huge, but noticeably bigger boobs. My husband and I have spent alot of time talking to her about boys, and sex, and that boys are generally mostly interested in sex at this age. I wonder if her attempts to look so "unattractive" is due to her newly developing self and thinking she can detract boys by not looking so good. Just a thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 12:35pm
There is a very good chance this may be part of it.
As the lone male here, I hesitated to respond as such. It seems I come across a bit paranoid in this area. lol.
However my DD (16) has confided to me that she lost several boyfriends in the early teen years because she was not willing to "please" in that area. There is a lot of pressure out there. Dressing to prevent attention may in fact be one way to deal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 12:47pm
Aha! I think you have it! The principal at dd's school a few years ago told us at parents night that some of our girls would start wearing baggy clothes and only baggy clothes. My dd wore zipper jackets, vests over shirts and big sloppy sweatshirts for the whole year. This is all new to them and they are trying to hide their changes. My dd has definitely outgrew this stage but I'd welcome it back anytime! hehe!
Avatar for jobismom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 2:09pm

HI I Read your first post also and I have a 13yr old dd who doesnt dress very trendy either. She wears jeans mostly with shirts that yes as you described are long and cover the pocket area. Tank tops underneath also. Always a pullover sweatshirt too. She also like your dd is developing and as long as she's clean and neat I dont worry too much. She did however have on a pair of ds's hand me down baggy sweats today which I think bordered on sloppy. Most of the girls dress similar or are dressing too old for their age so again I dont complain much with that in mind.

She's been in a hard to fit stage for about a year now and shopping for pants and bathing suits were nightmares!! Hard on her and hard on me to see her go thro this awkward stage.
She can wear jrs tops but not bottoms yet too long.

Anyhow I lean towards comfort when dressing myself so as long as they are clean & neat and there are no other underlying issues try to work with her.

 Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 2:47pm

Gosh can we trade daughters? I feel as if I am in a constant battle with an evil demon determined to put my daughters new found curves on display. I believe this is natural for your DD, they either choose one clothing option or another. Just be certain to boost her self esteem in other areas and communicate, communicate, communicate. They are listening even when they are in another zone.

And I prefer sweatshirt and jeans anyway, they are more comfortable.

Happy Parenting!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 6:23pm

Never would have thought of that (being flat-chested all my life), but it sounds like a plausible explanation. As the others say, if she's clean, let her dress as she pleases.

My older sister after entering menopause LOL! I'm hoping I get those same mom's-menopause-boob genes, but if I didn't get the puberty-genes I know my chances are slim.

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 7:39am
I think you might have hit the nail on the head here. My DD went thru the sloppy/baggy stage a couple of years ago, about the time she started "growing" but now we're constantly keeping an eye out for the other side of the coin... too much skin or too tight. And of course, I'm being a mean mom when I tell her that something just isn't appropriate and to go put some clothes on. How many years til I can get her married off???
Rose