Doesn't quite get it at age 24

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Doesn't quite get it at age 24
15
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 4:12pm

Now I know this board is for parents of teens...hope you don't mind my venting about DS24 who is still acting like a teen!

Received two emails from him today:

#1 Got a bonus--$1800 after taxes

So I replied, contgrats...save it for that new car you'll soon need. Then I read the next one:

#2 Who wants to see Grandma/watch the Packers playoff on Jan 12? Only $400 per ticket and the flight to Green Bay would be only $250. Mom & Dad, maybe you could help out DS18 and I could meet him there.

And this is the DS who couldn't take any vacation days or spend any money to fly to WI for Xmas!

He puts about 30,000 miles/year on his car just for work, and of course the company reimburses him. While I give him credit for saving a fair amount in his 401k, I know he hasn't been saving what he's collecting in the way of mileage reimbursement. He still needs that instant gratification.....arghhhh. I really thought that DH and I set a good example all these years when it comes to saving/spending wisely, but we failed somewere along the way.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 4:19pm

Some people really have to learn from experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 6:09pm

"Then she says she wants things for Christmas like a Coach bag and Ugg Boots. I told her I work full time and I couldn't justify spending that kind of money on a Coach bag."

Glad we're not the only parents with this problem. Last year DS18's gf bought him Ugg slippers for Xmas, and she is really into the Coach/name brand bags. Her expensive taste rubs off on him.

DS24 had also emailed my sister in Chicago about the Packer game, and this was her reply:

"You are not your Mother's son!!!

I will be at my National Sales Meeting in Orlando. Even being the Packer fan that I am, I am NOT spending $400 on a ticket to sit in the cold. Watch it on TV with friends, save some money and stay warm!!!

I'm so glad she replied like that. (I didn't even bother replying to him on that.) If he listens to anyone it will be her, as they have very similar personalities--they're nonstop socializers, adventurous and always on the go.
It DOES take a village....

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 8:06pm

Im not sure DH and I have found the correct middle ground between 'fun' and savings. Frankly, I think we have saved too much and we are now having fun at a point where the kids are missing it, KWIM?

If he is saving in a 401K, I dont see any problem with him using his bonus for fun money. I think it's a good idea

And I will be using mine for a new laptop. I could likely buy another keyboard for this one-and another battery but......life is too short to not enjoy it along the way.

I would share in his happiness about the Packer's game. And, remember, it beats another COach bag for the GF.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 8:38pm

I understand how frustrating that can be.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 11:53pm

omg - it's my nightmare come true. I really shouldn't say anything, as it took me a while to finally 'get it' about saving money and prioritizing my expenditures! BUT, I think you did the right thing by making your suggestion and then keeping quiet when he mentioned his little trip and plan for his money.


On the one hand, a bonus can be seen as a windfall - fun money. But, in reality, it's the perfect opportunity to use it to plan something special. Unfortunately, some people are not very practical about their earnings and spending. What your sister said to him was great. But he has to learn on his own.


When my dds' say stupid things like that to me, I usually excuse myself, get off the phone or end the IM because my mom told me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all! Hahaha =


I looked at my

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 1:25am

Just had to LOL at

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 8:06am
Hi...reading thru here, don't really have a post...yet...but what popped into my brain instantly is that Forever 21 is a very affordable ( read: cheap!) store with cute stuff for young women...be proud that she is shopping there and not in the over-rated stores like H--------, - & -,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 10:03am

I guess life needs a little bit of "balance" you know?

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 10:17am

Oh I know - she IS a thrifty shopper most of the time. She will shop at Payless and Target as well. But for the most part, she loved American Eagle and Pacsun and GapBody. Not that she shops there often, but just after Thanksgiving she dropped $100 at AE - when she was supposed to be saving that money for when she returned to school the following week.


Thank GOD dd18 is not hooked on name brand clothing. Her biggest waste is driving to and from a town 15 miles out because none of her friends have cars - so she does all the driving, wasting all her gas and oil. Ugh - her car is old so it's not very good on gas.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 10:24am

You make an excellent point!


Well, your post made me feel much better about a recent purchase I made that has had me losing sleep at night. Ugh. When dd20 and I went to FL together last month, we got the hard sales pitch and I bought a time share. Not that

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