don't ask - don't tell...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
don't ask - don't tell...
22
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 2:42pm

i am having an ongoing discussion with my dd , and i am curious what others think..

I am of the opinion, that if you want something - you speak up... and sometimes more than once.. when and if necessary.

i believe that parents epecially may be so busy or forget or have other things on our mind..and don't always remember.

My daughter believes all she needs to do is ask once.. and if we the parents do not get back to HER.

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Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 3:47pm

That's called being passive-aggressive.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 4:56pm

I agree she's being passive-aggressive, and I'd let her suffer the consequences.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 5:08pm
sabrtooth wrote:

In our house, we had a hard time remembering what day it was.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 6:23pm

thank you all..

I agree.. i learned from my dad early - if you don';t speak up... you don't get it/it doesn't happen/nada..

we also have this arguement because she will ask me permission to do something.. and if she does not tell me " I need the answer by...."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 9:41pm

Believe me, if my kids wanted to do something, they would keep reminding me until I got around to doing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 10:58am
No, your DD is being ridiculous, and the only one who will lose out is her. If she wants to do something, anything, then she should pursue it a little more proactively.

Nagging is unpleasant but what your DD is doing is like the extreme opposite of nagging. Somewhere in the middle is balance and your DD needs to find it before life becomes disappointing and her personal relationships begin to suffer.
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 4:46pm

I am just curious, when you ask her to do something, be it homework, chores, etc, does she get right at it? And never have to be reminded to do it?

Photobucket
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 7:07pm
Actually, it is a lazy way to say "we never did ...." . She should ask," Dad, when CAN we go? Where will go? Etc... "Mom, can I walk on the moon?" me, "Sure!" I have this fight with my Girl Scouts, who are upperclassmen in HS. I am only the keeper of the paperwork. If they want to do anything, it is up to them to plan it!! They are not little kids, they can look at a calander, they can get info, directions, costs, etc...

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 8:27pm

What I'm curious about, is how she got to be 17 and STILL does this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2003
Tue, 08-02-2011 - 9:37am

Believe me - it is very frustrating...

For the most part - she does speak up.. but then there are times.. i do not know why at all.. she keeps her mouth shut..

There seems to be no rhyme or reason or why she does this...

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