Driving/summertime rules for 16yr. old

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Driving/summertime rules for 16yr. old
21
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 2:55pm

My darling, sweet DS has turned into a monster this summer. Some background - he just got his license last week and has been dating the same girl for around six months now. He thinks our summer electronics/driving rules are barbaric and I just wanted to know what others rules were for non-school time.

Since he has only had his license for a short time he is not allowed to drive with any passengers yet (other than family). The law states he is allowed to drive with one friend, but we would rather him get a little more experience before he is responsible for another person. Did you have this rule and for how long?

Electronics and cell phone are a big problem now. We told him that they need to be turned off at midnight (he has other responsibilities and is also starting a job this week, so he needs rest). We found out he talked to his gf on and off all night two nights ago. He couldn't have gotten any sleep. He's probably done this several times, but we didn't know. What type rules do you have for cell phone/electronic use?

This is a good kid but he's tired, crabby, not as much in control and his face is breaking out terribly because of his lack of rest. I also don't think he can make smart decisions driving right now.

Thoughts. BTW, I know this is all normal, but DS has been such a good kid I just wasn't for the teen testing that we're getting LOL.

TIA Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 4:21pm

We did the exact same thing. I allowed my ds to have passengers after about 5 months of driving. We told him no radio or talking on cell phone or texting while driving too.......seriously, I doubt it happened, BUT we tried our best to make that clear to him.

Cell phone is supposed to be placed in dining room at bedtime, but like you, over the summer it hasnt' been.

Don't be naive about the fact your son will probably have passengers and will try to talk on the phone after hours.........

I'd guess his crabbiness is very much due to lack of rest, but I doubt his skin problems are.....those are caused by hormones.........

Let us know how it all works out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 4:43pm
In PA they have to drive for 6 months on a permit before they can take their drivers test.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 7:16pm

My dd is 16 too and got her license in April. We did buy her a used car a couple of weeks ago mainly becuase she will be working part-time and also attending a summer class to get some credits out of the way for next year. Since I work part-time, I can't be w/o a car every time she needs to use it. She will have to pay for her gas since she will be working. Hopefully, all of this will work out. We'll see.

As far as the cell-phone in the evening. During the school year, she has be off the phone by 9:30 on school nights. If she doesn't have school the next day or any plans that are important (sports), then I don't really worry about the phone. She's pretty good about it though and is usually off the phone by 11:00 on weekends If she has something going on the next day on the weekend, then she has to be off the phone by 11:00. I think if she talked on the phone all night and it was a school night, I would definitely take a prividge away for a while and tell her that she has to turn in the phone to me each night at a designated time. I don't know if I would take the phone away since I wouldn't feel comfortable at the thought of her being w/o a phone...so I would probably take her PC privledges away for away...IM'ing, etc.

I live in CT and the driving laws here say that a new driver can drive only with a parent for the first 3 months, and then only parents or one sibling for the second 3 months. I'm really conflicted about this law since my dd is a single-child, so she is basically driving alone for 6 months. I kind of wish that the second 3 months she could drive one friend. I'm not totally thrilled about her driving all alone especially in the evening but, then again, if they can drive one friend, how do you stop them from driving more? I guess it's a slippery slope.

Avatar for imomtojd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 7:56pm

Thanks to all your replies. It helps a lot to know others are going through or have been through the same type thing. He drove to work this morning and wanted to go straight to a friends house but I told him to come home first. He ate lunch and talked with me and seems to have a relatively level head about our rules. I also called his best friends moms' today to find out rules. I wanted to make sure we weren't being unreasonable. From what I gather, we're actually being lenient - other parents seem to have stricter rules. That's definately in our favor.

He's home with us tonight and in a good mood. I wrote up a driving contract and an electronics contract tonight that lists rules and consequences. We'll go over these and he can have some input. After he signs them, at least I can tell him he agreed and that the consequences were in writing.

I'll keep you informed as to whether this actually worked.

Thanks again. This is a great community.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 7:29am

Well my son isn't of driving age yet, so I can't say how long I will have that rule in place. I do know that where I live the first six months of driving you have to have a licienced adult with you at all times. Beyond that I haven't really given it much thought.

Electronics I can answer to.

Cell phone use is minimal as we have pay as you go phones. They are for emergency and check in purposes only and not for use with long conversations. We pay for X number of minutes per renewual period (every three months) and it's up to our son to maintain a minimum number of minutes on the phone at all times in the event of emergancies. If he chooses not to have that minimum on his phone, then he looses the right to attend activities without us (as that is when we rely on the phone being operable the most).

In our home the rule is that all electronics (computer, video games etc..) are turned off by 7pm no matter what time of year it is.

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 10:10am

Sounds like it is time to take him to a dermatologist, too.

Kids don't have to suffer with acne anymore.

Avatar for imomtojd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 10:05pm
He's actually been on a regimen the last few months that has helped, and I know taking oral antibiotics would do more, but I really don't want him on them. Right now he's washing his face in the morning and then putting on benz. peroxide. He wipes with a benz. peroxide pad every afternoon and then puts more medicine on his pimples. At night he cleanses and then uses retin-a. He's trying out .1 instead of .5 starting tonight. Hopefully it will keep it in check. If not we'll go the oral route, I guess. I don't know of any other topical that I've heard works better than this regimen.
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Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 10:54pm
Our state laws are like yours - once they get their license they can have only one other teen in the car for the first 6 months.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 11:42pm

Unfortunately, Minnesota has no such law.
Therefore, we made our 'own' law. No passengers in the vehicle for 6 months after getting their license. They made the typical fuss, but soon got over it.
In our legeslative wisdom, they 'did' pass a law forbidding talking on the cell phone while driving. It's a good start, but still doesn't address a car full of sixteen year olds paying more attention to the CD player than the road.

Avatar for imomtojd
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 9:36am

We "kind of" took the cell phone away for a week. He has to give it to us when WE go to bed, around 10:30, and he hasn't argued. He started working this week so I think (hope) he will automatically have to become more responsible because I know he would hate to mess this up. He's wanted to work for several years. I think he was just feeling his oats the first few weeks school was out, but is calming down now.

Our state has pretty stringent cell laws for driving. They are not allowed to use a cell while driving until 18 (unless they're talking to their spouse ROFLOL). I love that we have so many laws for kids driving, it takes a little off us parents who want our kids to stay alive (and others on the road).

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