Driving/summertime rules for 16yr. old

Avatar for imomtojd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Driving/summertime rules for 16yr. old
21
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 2:55pm

My darling, sweet DS has turned into a monster this summer. Some background - he just got his license last week and has been dating the same girl for around six months now. He thinks our summer electronics/driving rules are barbaric and I just wanted to know what others rules were for non-school time.

Since he has only had his license for a short time he is not allowed to drive with any passengers yet (other than family). The law states he is allowed to drive with one friend, but we would rather him get a little more experience before he is responsible for another person. Did you have this rule and for how long?

Electronics and cell phone are a big problem now. We told him that they need to be turned off at midnight (he has other responsibilities and is also starting a job this week, so he needs rest). We found out he talked to his gf on and off all night two nights ago. He couldn't have gotten any sleep. He's probably done this several times, but we didn't know. What type rules do you have for cell phone/electronic use?

This is a good kid but he's tired, crabby, not as much in control and his face is breaking out terribly because of his lack of rest. I also don't think he can make smart decisions driving right now.

Thoughts. BTW, I know this is all normal, but DS has been such a good kid I just wasn't for the teen testing that we're getting LOL.

TIA Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 11:50am


Rules here are very strict. We have graduated licenses. When a kid is 16, he can get his G1 (requires a written test).

That means he is allowed to learn to drive a car but can allow drive if there is a fully licensed driver (with at least 5 years) sitting beside him. Plus there is time of day rules AND no highway driving. If the kid has passed a government approved driving course, 8 months after getting their G1 they can take their first road test to get their G2. Many kids don't pass it and have to take it several times. If they don't take a government-approved course, they have to wait 1 year till taking the road test.
There are restrictions on the G2. Zero tolerance for drugs and alcohol. Time restrictions (no late night/early morning driving). Restrictions on the number of passengers. Rules on cell phone use..

After at least one year from the date they get their G2, they can take their final road test for their G license.

So, kids driving on their own (with G2s) are at least 4 months away from being 17 or not older. Most kids are 17 or 18 when they get their G2.

Avatar for imomtojd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 12:04pm

Those are pretty strict rules, although not that different than ours.

We have graduated licenses also. All the high schools offer drivers education which can be taken anywhere from 14.5 on. After they turn 15, they have to bring a signed certificate from their high school that they have a certain GPA and they have passed the drivers ed course to the drivers license bureau to test for their permit. Many don't pass the first time. When they pass, they are given a permit that means they can only drive between certain hours and only with a license driver who's had their license for five years. After a year they can take the driving part of the test and get their second provisional license. They can only have one teenage passenger for six months, cannot drive after 9pm, unless they are coming home from work, and have to keep up their grades. They automatically lose their license if they drop out of school. If they do not get in trouble or get a ticket within six months, they get their regular license without restrictions.

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Registered: 12-14-2006
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 4:05pm
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 10:44pm

Hi, I haven't read the rest of the replies yet, but I have similar doubts that are making me so tense. I am never tense, normally, so this driving thing is killing me.

We are in NJ. They have to have 6 hours of behind the wheel with a drving school and 6 months of permit, then they can get their license at 17. They are allowed only one passenger besides family until they are 18. I GET this law. It makes sense. I just am not enforcing it. It is unrealistic that 17 year olds will travel in groups of 2, especially when not all have a vehicle. I KNOW my son. He would probably tell me he had only one friend and hope he didn't get caught. Very few are stopped for this, as how can a policeman tella 17 year old from an 17 or 19 year old??

I have decided to pick my battles, and since I don't think I would follow through I am not enforcing it. Great for you if you are strong enough, and your son is good and honest enough. I wish I were!

We do have a $20 fine for each person not wearing a seatbelt. We often do see them come and go and so far have not caught them, so hopefully they get that part.

Also, 17 is a lot older than 16. If he were 16 I would be more likely to enforce it, and he would be more accepting of it.

Cell phone and computer are cracked down on as punishment, and any time we think it is out of control. Midnight is the time my husband chose. He even had him off the computer by 11 last night.

I worry all the time about him breaking down and how to deal with repairs and tows etc. I'd advise other moms to get the best car they can for their budget, and get it at a dealer with a warranty. I saved a few bucks going private--and it might cost me a bundle. One problem might have been caught on an inspection by mechanic (Not possible, another long story) but a new one just popped up that almost invovled a tow. I still don't know what is wrong, or if it was a one time thing..but I am so tense about it...That is why I am rambling so. ENough for now. I'll read the other replies and go to bed.

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 9:50am
I disagree with you on not enforcing the law.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 11:09am

I understand your point, and I do think I am wrong. However, I am choosing to make rules that I know I will enforce, and I think there would be sneaking around anyway. I'd rather know who he's with, and not let him "get away" with it when I don't catch him. That just weakens me on the rules I am strict about. I have finally learned not to say things I won't follow through with.

We have explained about the fines and the insurance, and that will all be on him. I will not pay any more $$ out because of his mistakes.

The only point I have that I think is slightly valid, is that our state does require 6 months of supervised driver permit, and 6 hours behind the wheel with an instructor, in addition to the fact that some people on here are talking about driving at 15 and license on 16th birthday. My son was 17 + one month before he got his license.

I am conflicted about not enforcing it. He already thinks he's a man. "all his friends" do it...I believe he will sneak friends. Also, the parents all know there are more than one passenger with him, and they let their kids go. To be effective, everyone should be on board.

Also, they just released the numbers, since this new law (the Graduated license) the number of fatalities has risen. I wonder why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2000
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 4:58pm

My DD is now 17. Our driving laws sound similar to those in your state. My husband imposed the "no driving with friends" for the first month she had her license last year.

DD didn't like the rule. In fact, I suspected from the moment she got her license that she was breaking the rule...DH didn't agree and chose to blindly trust her.

DD nearly had a stroke the day I was waiting in her friend's driveway when the two of them pulled in after school--DD at the wheel! (Mom is really not so dumb as she looks).

We took her license and her car away for a month. She rode the school bus to and from school for that whole month--that was worse than death for a teenager with a license. Additionally, because she lied when I asked who would be driving her friend home that day, I imposed 50 hours of community service on DD. She now works one day a week at the local humane society. It turns out, she likes working with the animals and this community service will help her with scholarship applications.

This punishment is by far the most severe we have imposed. But we believed very strongly that she needed some time to get used to driving without distractions from her friends. I also think she became too comfortable in her lies to us.

I don't think your rules are too stringent. Do what you think is best to keep your son safe and yourself sane.

Julie

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 9:53am
My son will be over 17 when he gets his license....he can't try until this December when his 6 months are over, so I understand where you are coming from.
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 1:49pm

I tell my dd I expect her to obey the law no matter how much she disagrees with it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 3:38pm
not that I disagree with your ideas, but do you actually think dd's bf would let you know that she was driving more than one around? That sounds like something I would say to my kids! At least I know I'm not the only one....