DS, acne, should I continue to remind?
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| Thu, 07-26-2007 - 12:04pm |
DS, 16, is really a good kid, but he just doesn't seem to remember to take care of his face without me reminding him every time. His acne has gotten pretty bad the last several months, but he has a regimen that keeps it at least under control - that is if he takes the responsibility to keep it up. Lately, I have reminded him in the morning, afternoon and night to do what he needs to do. This is whether he's had a busy day - he's working this summer; or just sitting around on computer, phone... I've continued to remind him because I don't want to take the chance of permanent scarring; not letting his bad choices now affect his future looks (pock marks, red marks...).
So...my question is should I just sit down with him one last time, go over his regimen, and let the chips fall where they may; or continue to remind him and hope one day he gets it on his own?
Thanks so much for your opinions - this is an invaluable resource.
Lisa

This is a bit of an issue in our house now too. DD started having acne issues at the end of the school year and nothing I bought was helping. So ... I made an appointment, got her there, filled the prescriptions (to the tune of nearly $100 WITH insurance) and let her have at it.
She did really good the first few weeks -- when she was most concerned about it -- but when she saw the improvement in her skin, she started slacking off, maybe doing it only in the morning. Well, guess what? Her skin is back in the almost the same condition it was, which is exactly what I told her would happen! Now, with her starting a new school here next month, she's back on the regime. Frustrating!
I'd keep reminding and here's why (and it's what I tell my DD) ... if I take the time to make an appointment for you, take the time drive you to the appointment, sit there during it then pay $100 for medication (and all of this in the midst of trying to pack up and move to another state) then YOU need to keep up your end of the bargain here, do your part and stick with it. As my DD learned, it's not a 'once and a while thing and it's fixed thing', it has to be consistent.
Sorry I'm not more help!
Hard ... we want them to take charge and take care of themselves and when they don't we feel like we're overbearing and pushing a bit.
I'm in the same situation with DD. She has a beautiful complexion when she using the regimen perscribed by the dermo, but sometimes she gets lazy and doesn't wash or apply the topical treatments. I can tell after a few days of this because she breaks out like crazy. When I talk to her about it, she gets defensive and takes it as criticism - "yes, mom, I know I have a skin problem - thanks for pointing that out to me!".
I did just what you propose - however I went one step further. I took her to the dermotologist and asked her to have the talk with my dd. When I made the appointment on the phone, I discussed this problem with the nurse who scheduled my dd's appointment and she put a note in the file for the doctor.
When we had our last visit, I saw the doctor first for my own visit and I made sure she was aware of this concern and she promised to talk to dd about proper care of her complexion.
It seems to have worked somewhat. She still yets lax about it from time to time, but for no more than one or two nights of skipped regimin. For some reason, coming from the expert meant more than coming from mom and that's ok with me.
Take care,
Jem
It's hard to watch our kids not take care of themselves like they should. I have had similar issues with orthodontic head gear and rubber bands. My 17 year old daughter never wears her rubber bands. I have told her several times that she will have to wear her braces longer if she doesn't do as the dr. says. It's like talking to the wall. Anyway, she never wears them. At this point, I'm not saying anything. It's really her decision.
If I were in your situation, I would sit down with your son and explain your feelings...one more time. And then tell him he's on his own. If he wants his skin to clear up, he will make the effort. If not, I guess that's his decision too.
I know it "sounds" easy to do...but I know if I were in your shoes, it would be difficult to just let him be. We just want the best for them. I'm trying to learn that sometimes that means letting them make their own choices, even if we know they are making a mistake. I guess they can learn valuable lessons through poor choices! I know I have!
Good Luck!
Lori
Oh, but you are very helpful! It's always heartening to know that others are going through the same thing. It just seems like it would be more important to them because acne is so obvious on their face. I'm not as concerned about the present as the future. And the cost factors in too. It's expensive to go to the doc and pay for the prescriptions.
Maybe one day our children will thank us for all the grief they put us through.
Thanks so much for your reply.
Lisa