DS & DD both dress out of season which is VERY embarrassing to me. Why do they do this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2011
DS & DD both dress out of season which is VERY embarrassing to me. Why do they do this?
11
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 8:41pm

Hi, I'm a single mother with a 16yo DS and a 13yo, well, actually almost 14

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Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

On the CHANCE this is not being posted by a troll, here are my 2 cents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

If you're for real - which I have my doubts about - how do they buy the clothes you don't like? Maybe your 16 year old has a job and buys all his clothes but is your 13 year old also buying all her clothes? She's a 13 year old child - if you think she's dressing inappropriately don't let her out of the house in those clothes.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2011

Well, DD gets an allowance and does some babysitting, that is how she has the money to buy her own clothes and yes I let her do that because I'm trying to teach her to be financially responsible. And I do NOT let her out of the house in anything really risque, as I said.

And yes, I'm also for real. I don't really blame you for thinking this is some kind of joke with how weird they dress, but yes, this is really the situation I'm dealing with here, and it really scares me that their behavior seems so bizarre to others that people would think this is not real....

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

It is not your children's behavior that we think is unreal, it is your complaint.

You can teach financial responsibility without letting your children buy inappropriate things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

As sabrtooth said, there are bigger hills to die on - and my guess is that part of the reason they're doing this is because it makes you CRAZY! I think that the number one item on a teenager's "job description" is to make mom nuts as often as one possibly can. The less reaction you show to some of their outlandish dress, the less attractive it's going to be to them.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
ITA - if the clothes are clean and modest enough for wearing outside of the house to specific venues, this too shall pass IF you let it be. Otherwise odds are it'll keep up just to bother you!

I always had to put my foot down when ds was in middle and high school - no shorts if it was 40 when he went to school. And that wasn't the easiest one to enforce as he sure liked his shorts!

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
If my DS was dressing in a way that I found really bothered me, I'd dress like him (goth, Insane Clown Posse, you name it) and insist on accompanying him in public in my get-up. I'd tell him that in an act of solidarity, that so long as he dresses like that, I'll dress like that. I imagine that the phase would be short-lived, LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998

Okay, while I think your son's painted face picture is strange, I happen to think he looks very handsome and dashing in that very dressy get-up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

Didn't mean to sound unwelcoming. As others have said - there are bigger issues to deal with when you have teens. But I also think if you really don't like the way they dress you, as a parent, have the final say in how they appear in public, especially for your 13 year old. A couple people did bring up a good point - they may be doing it to 'yank your chain'. You can always try the suggestion of dressing like them to see their reaction!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

If it's any consolation, my exH's nephew outgrew the goth phase.

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