DS has learning disabilities

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
DS has learning disabilities
22
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 4:33pm

Since I feel like I've gotten to know some of you all over this last year of posting primarily about my issues with dd, I want to vent/share my sadness with you all about discovering, ***this*** late, that my 17ds, a junior in high school, has just been diagnosed with "non-specific learning disabilities".

We finally got the results of the very expensive outside "special ed" testing we had done, after the school refused to test him. He took all the testing unmedicated, for what it is worth. He did badly (below average) in numerous areas: auditory and verbal and visual memory; language retrieval; auditory processing and speed, and reasoning skills. The evaluation did not indicate a "specific LD" but "discrepancies between cognitive processing...intra-cluster discrepancies in both his cognitive and achievement performance."

I want to shout from the rooftops to anyone who wants to judge a teen like my ds (a really, really good kid - bad grades and all) that not everyone who doesn't make the honor roll is a "slacker" and "a bad influence". My kid fell through the proverbial cracks. No one, and I literally mean NO ONE from his many years in public school ever so much as **suggested** that he be tested for LD. No, he's instead been viewed as a slacker, lazy, and "off task". "Medicate him." There is something really wrong with our system. I even requested in 6th grade that he be "tested", unfortunately I didn't know what I didn't know, and he was never tested for LD. Again, in 10th grade he was 'tested'. Based on the "average" results of his testing (ignoring his below average grades), they denied further LD testing. You want to know something else? Based on the fact that he doesn't have a "specific" LD, we might even be denied services!!!! My blood is boiling.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 4:57pm

My DD had finished her sophomore year before she was tested for ADD. She had always made A's and B's in honor classes so they didn't see the need plus she was not a discipline problem (at least not for them). What they didn't see was how she struggled so hard to study and do her homework. They didn't have to hold her while she was crying at 15 b/c she couldn't take this frustration anymore. I asked to have her evaluated several times but no one seemed to think it was necessary. Then, at 15, she had a major ex-b/f issue and she finally agreed to therapy. It was the therapist that suggested she be tested. She was diagnosed with severe ADD and was put on medication. She still has to struggle to make those A's and B's in the honors classes but she doesn't get nearly as frustrated as she used to. She still has her moments but they are not every single night.

We as mom's have to admit that we know our kids better than anyone else. I so wanted to accept what the school administrators were saying that I didn't push for my own DD. I also didn't understand my rights as her parent to insist on certain things. I would suggest that you talk with a qualified therapist and see if they can help teach your DS some additional study skills that help him. This person may also be able to tell you what you can expect from the schools.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 5:25pm

Yes, that is what I'm in the process of doing. We have a meeting scheduled at 7:30 am on Thursday morning at the school in which our independent evaluator will attend and discuss her findings and recommendations. I feel much better knowing that we have an advocate in our corner, but my past experience with the school district has taught me not to expect much. :(

One of the first problems we have to address in getting him help is the educational therapy sessions will at first have to occur during school hours (she has an afternoon waiting list). I am looking, but am finding a lack of special education tutors in the area. So we have to get permission for him to be excused from school once a week for about two hours (including travel time). It's not good that he will miss class, but on the other hand he is not getting anything out of it, either. His schedule may have to be changed, and he is also resisting going into "that class" where he will be "judged" by others as being "retarded" or what not.

For my part, I have to wonder what the value is in him going to school every day and wasting his time (because they teach to left dominant kids and he is right dominant, etc.), then spending hours after school getting remedial tutoring. The "perfect" solution in my mind would be for him to attend school part-time, perhaps for electives and to socialize and get the h.s. "experience", but to homeschool or do independent study the rest of the time, and get that therapy in the day time. This way he is not tired from all day in school basically wasting his time. I don't know how we will work out the independent study, but where there is a will there is a way, plus he may be driving soon...

Thanks for your input.

Avatar for soccermom03
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 5:41pm

Boy, my heart goes out to you and your DS. I work in the LD resource room at an elementary with a huge special needs population (nearly 40%). I wanted to give you a few things to keep in mind when navigating the special ed quagmire. First, be sure to get an IEP. This will put in writing the specific issues your son deals with and how they affect his performance in the classroom. Any appropriate accomodations to help him maximize his performance will be listed (ex, more time on a test, test questions read to him, reduced homework, dictating answers to a scribe, work in small groups, lecture notes provided, written study guides provided, etc). It may not be necessary for your DS to recieve direct services from an LD professional if his needs can be met through accomodations in the classroom. If that is the case then an LD professional will monitor his work and consult with you and his teachers on an as-needed basis. We have many students at our school who I only see once a year during annual standardized testing time, and I review their cases twice a year.

Since I don't know what state you are in and I can only speak for the way things are handled in my district, I would recommend you contact your local special education district with your test results. It is likely that they will need to review the testing and probably have their own educational psychologist evaluate him and make a recommendation regarding services.

I hate to hear that you've both had such a rough way to go. In our district we have several students with nonspecific LDs, and many qualify as OHI (Other Health Impaired), which includes but isn't limited to ADD and ADHD. If the ADD impairs the students ability to learn and forces him to achieve below his capability, then by definition that is a learning disability. I've never heard of a school having the right to refuse to test a child after the parent has requested it either. Best of luck to you both...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 6:10pm

I highly recommend ldonline.org

I have not been on for a long time and a quick look shows a different format but they tend to have wonderful and active forums and great advice for even older guys(hard to find)

I homeschooled my LD son for 6th grade and grasped how he learned. I would have liked to hs for 7th and 8th but my job is grant based; it changed hands and the new folks wouldnt allow part time employees. He's doing okay but, if you can homeschool, I would go that route. There are so many resources out there-I was floored!!!

Accomodations help. A 'word bank' can work wonders for a word retrieval problem. That means for a fill in the blank test, a list of the words is provided instead of him having to try to pull them from his head. It can be written that points cant be taken off for spelling errors.

I'm not crazy about tutoring institutions like Sylvan and Huntington-they may work for kids who missed something along the way but they teach the same way as the schools and if your kid doesnt register that way, its just more of the same. Why put them through more misery which has to be how they see their days already?

I will tell you that your son sounds VERY similar to mine and he has been in 'services' since he was 20 months old. Sadly, I cant say there have been any miracles.

What Im trying to say is dont obsess over lost time as it may not have made as much of a difference as one would think. Some things aren't fixable-they just ARE

Check out the website

And I wanted to point out something that was a wake up call for me

AVERAGE is the 25% to the 75%. A child must perform below the 25% to be considered below average and, qualifying for services usually means a significant drop from THAT number-Im thinking my son comes in at 10-15% in most testing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 6:20pm

I can only imagine how disheartening and frustrating this is for you -- and for your DS too! Only two years left of school and finally you get confirmation on what you probably already suspected.

Because of her inability to sit down and do homework without tears, temper tantrums, stalling, dawdling, etc., I had Chelsea tested for ADD in 5th grade. Like Lia's dd, she was a model student in every way. No one saw what I went through at home with her. Remember that 'finely tuned' description? Anyway, she seems to have settled in this year so far, but it would so not surprise me to learn she has some sort of LD -- her grades HAVE slipped down a bit too. Instead of all A's and perhaps a B, she's now at mostly B's and perhaps an A. Hhhmmm ...

Anyway, I think your homeschooling plan is really brilliant. My neighbor does that with her sr dd -- it's called 'Home Choice' here. The girl didn't have any problems learning, just problems getting along with other kids. She got into the way wrong crowd ... drinking, sex, fights, etc. Now her mom takes her to school for an hour each day for photography and another time each week to meet with her teachers. Except for all the driving on the part of mom (dd hasn't been compelled to get her license yet) it seems to be working out.

I'm sorry you're going through this and hope things smooth out soon. Keep us posted on his progress.

Julie

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 6:38pm

Well, I certainly hope you're right, because he comes in significantly below that number on his lowest scores (in the areas I mentioned). In fact, his only average score was in visual-spatial (towards the high end of average). I'm going to read the book, "Upside Down Brilliance" although I don't know how much will fit him - my ds is tough to "label". I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the info. out there.

Thanks for your words of encouragement, as one who has "btdt". It's much appreciated...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 7:21pm

Try this one too

http://www.amazon.com/Right-Brained-Children-Left-Brained-World-Potential/dp/0684842718/ref=si3_rdr_bb_product/102-6958261-5192969?ie=UTF8

Dont let the ADHD connection deter you-like anything, take what you need and leave the rest.

I'm glad he tested so low-sounds crazy but its what's going to open the door for some help.

Labels are valuable if they get you something-like an IEP or insurance coverage for therapy. Otherwise, try not to drive yourself crazy finding the right one

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 12:02am
As a mom of two LD kids (now grown) one who was non-specified I can't believe it took this long to diagnose your son. All those years lost. By the way the school can't refuse to test a student once the parent has requested it in writing. Any child who is labled as a slacker or lazy should be tested to rule out LD. Some school districts have better special ed departments than others so you will find out I'm sure. If you should run into any issues or are unsure of your son's rights please know that your state government has a division just for these kids. They have parent liasons who will attend planning sessions with you, attorneys if you need one, and lot's of advice. It would fall under Community Mental Health or Children's Mental Health. If you go to your state gov web site you will find it there somewhere. Also know that the services he will recieve do not stop at graduation from high school but through college and until he reaches 25 years old. Job training, skills, etc. It's a little late for him but if you learn to use the resources available I will bet things will turn around for your son quickly. Also, if your son is non-specified you may get him qualified under POHI (physical or health impaired). My son is a childhood cancer survivor so he was able to get in that way. Maybe your son has asthma or some other "health" issue. Remember there are people who can help. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 7:55am

{{{{hugs}}}}


My oldest DS has non-specific LD,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:36am

<<<>

After many years of trying to fix DS3, I have become focused on getting him through high school so he can find what he is good at and function.

It is so nice to hear someone say that I may be on the right path in the right frame of mind-because sometimes I feel guilty that Im not trying hard enough to 'make' him excel in school, KWIM?

Thanks-you made my day!

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