DS has learning disabilities

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
DS has learning disabilities
22
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 4:33pm

Since I feel like I've gotten to know some of you all over this last year of posting primarily about my issues with dd, I want to vent/share my sadness with you all about discovering, ***this*** late, that my 17ds, a junior in high school, has just been diagnosed with "non-specific learning disabilities".

We finally got the results of the very expensive outside "special ed" testing we had done, after the school refused to test him. He took all the testing unmedicated, for what it is worth. He did badly (below average) in numerous areas: auditory and verbal and visual memory; language retrieval; auditory processing and speed, and reasoning skills. The evaluation did not indicate a "specific LD" but "discrepancies between cognitive processing...intra-cluster discrepancies in both his cognitive and achievement performance."

I want to shout from the rooftops to anyone who wants to judge a teen like my ds (a really, really good kid - bad grades and all) that not everyone who doesn't make the honor roll is a "slacker" and "a bad influence". My kid fell through the proverbial cracks. No one, and I literally mean NO ONE from his many years in public school ever so much as **suggested** that he be tested for LD. No, he's instead been viewed as a slacker, lazy, and "off task". "Medicate him." There is something really wrong with our system. I even requested in 6th grade that he be "tested", unfortunately I didn't know what I didn't know, and he was never tested for LD. Again, in 10th grade he was 'tested'. Based on the "average" results of his testing (ignoring his below average grades), they denied further LD testing. You want to know something else? Based on the fact that he doesn't have a "specific" LD, we might even be denied services!!!! My blood is boiling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 9:19am

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all this - and boy, do I relate! I asked that my dd be tested at the beginning of 8th grade (in the fall) and finally got their "conclusion" when the school year was more than half-way over (in March). The school said she did NOT have a LD, but they almost seemed too eager to say this to me (IMO). My dd barely made it out of 8th grade and is now in the 9th. Once again, she is getting one "bad" grade after the other. My dd may not be super brilliant, but she is far from being an "F" student! It is so frustrating! The idea of homeschooling was mentioned several times on this thread, and that has planted a seed in my head that that may be the way to go for my daughter. I live in the best school district in my state, yet I feel that my dd is slipping through the cracks. I completely understand when you say that your blood is boiling!

Anyway, just wanted to "drop in" and give you a <> and say that you are not alone. Please let us know how it goes with the school meeting on Thursday. I'll be thinking of you!

Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 6:58pm

I wish I could reply to "all" but thanks so much everyone for your input. Today was the meeting I was talking about. I feel like I've been through a trial. It turns out it was a SST (student study team) meeting, which no one told me. I thought this was a 504 meeting, but because the counselor knew we were requesting "services" she knew that the process (God forbid you do a step out of order) was the SST first. Well, ds was not there b/c I didn't know he had to be there - counselor looked at me shocked, as though I was the world's worst parent. We have a new school psychologist and she and dh and I did ***not*** hit it off. She made several comments which we felt were uncalled for, and kept interupting dh when he was talking. She kept saying how ds had to be there b/c decisions about his future were being made. We finally set her straight on that one. I can't believe they wanted him there while we talked about him the way we were doing today. The long and the short of it is that they are going to do their own testing - except for language, because there ***is no one*** in the district who is doing that at this time! My wonderful California tax payer dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen! After the testing we will meet for an IEP meeting - except that the psychologist kept insisting he might be "borderline" and therefore can't get an IEP. It's as though she already knows what is going to happen, kwim? Hmmmmmm.

We were impressed with the new assistant principal, though. He was very helpful and kind. He even intervened a few times, correcting the difficult psychologist. Interestingly, they would like ds to be on meds when he takes their test, so that will have to be after we see the neurologist and start the new med trial ( a different class of drugs - stimulants nor Strattera seemed to work).

Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 7:11pm

Don't you love how they want these kids to be at these meetings, and then talk about them, in front of them, like they were a diseased animal with no understanding of what is being said?? And then they wonder why most LD kids have low self esteem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 11:20am

Oh, talk about something that will get me on my "soap box" this is it!! DH and I both have dxes. of ADHD and LD. The private prep school DH attended tried to kick him out in 3rd grade b/c "he was not prep school material." This is the same kid who ended up graduating validictorian of that school! I was not dxed. LD until 10th grade and ADHD in GRADUATE school. My parents and DH's parents fought hard and school personnel hated to see them coming! DH still cannot write letters (as in handwriting) and has used a computer for all work since third grade. He also graduated in the top 5 of his law school class at a prominent law school and is a very successful attorney. I am a Clinical Social Worker.

I attended public school but the laws / regulations have changed since I graduated. I would check and see if you could find an advocacy group in your area for families of an LD child or something. If that is not available, check with your ds's dr. to see if he or she knows what services are available to help you advocate for your child. As one of the other posters said - declaring a child LD costs them money and additional resources and many systems will do whatever possible not to provide services. If needed, check with local Psychologists / Social Workers who work prmarily with children. The sad reality is that as a professional it is much easier for someone to advocate for a child than it is for a parent. They seem to listen to a professonal better than a parent, as if the professonal is better able to determine what their child needs than the parents! At times, there are situations where the poblem is parenting but since ds has already been tested that indicates a problem with the school not wanted to provde needed services.

DS may very well not qualify for an IEP b/c the rules for such are very strengent but qualification for a 504 plan is much less strengent and provides many of the same services. I would be very concerned about a school wanting to do their own testing, with medication. That is a red flag for trying to 1. put you off as long as possible and hope DS just graduates before they really have to do something and / or 2. try to tell you tbat DS does not qualify and tell you to go away. I would definitely talk to someone knowledgable with the laws / regs. in your area before you allow additional testing, esp. with meds.

It sounds like school Psych. is young and still has a lot left to learn. It is easy for someone new think they know more than they do and it is easy to jump to conclusions. This is a hard lesson many good human servce professionals have to learn but when that person is learning such at the expense of your DS you have to advocate hard.

Meds. are entirely up to you and your family. NOT the school. DH and I choose to take meds. as adults and I personally would be ok with meds.for a 17 y.o. but I would not medicate a younger child with stimulants b/c of the side effects. Find out all about any med. before you put your child on it and make an informed decision. Why would they be looking at putting DS on a med. for ADHD when the "problem" is an LD?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 2:16pm

It is too bad that our schools cannot do a better job of identifying students in need of special services when they are in first through third grade. I work as a volunteer tutor for a nonprofit that uses an Orton-Gillingham based approach to instruction in reading, spelling and writing. We see it all the time--parents of 5th, 6th and 7th graders saying that although they, as parents, suspected a problem, no teacher ever recommended outside help. Sometimes it is a college professor who first informs the student. And the labeling as lazy and apathetic is also common.

Most of our students are dyslexic, or have symptoms of dyslexia--difficulty with reading, spelling and writing despite having at least avg. intelligence and having access to standard education. The definition is non-specific. This may or may not describe your son, but I want to encourage you to seek out an Orton-Gillingham trained tutor because it is the multisensory, sequential, simple-to-complex, individualized instruction that results in increased confidence and changes in the neural pathways as evidenced by MRI. Even if he is not dyslexic, the multisensory methods will help to rewire his brain. It is too bad that therapy using these same methods is successful in rewiring the brains of 65+ aged people, and is covered under Medicare for stroke victims; but for our children, who have there WHOLE lives ahead of them, we parents must pay for tutoring.

Please be sure your son knows that this is a biological, neurological problem, that therapy/tutoring can help, and that not one of us is perfect. Identifying the problem is half the battle. Best of luck!

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 3:17pm
I just saw this posting and wanted to mention there is a message board here for special ed (covering 504's too) and they are really helpful writing letters, know so much about the laws etc. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-ppiep&nav=start
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 4:44pm

"The sad reality is that as a professional it is much easier for someone to advocate for a child than it is for a parent. They seem to listen to a professonal better than a parent, as if the professonal is better able to determine what their child needs than the parents! At times, there are situations where the poblem is parenting but since ds has already been tested that indicates a problem with the school not wanted to provde needed services."


One thing that I noticed in our district, when my DS was first diagnosed - the educational professionals at the meetings loved to use very technical sounding language that could easily intimidate a parent with less than a college degree or one in an area outside human services.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 3:40pm

Orton-Gillingham was suggested by the independent evaluator. Is there any way to find someone in my area? Right now, he is going to have to be pulled out of class once a week for educational therapy with the independent evaluator, a licensed therapist. This is probably not going to be enough, but I can't find someone locally who has greater availability. So I've enrolled him at the local tutoring center for one on one tutoring 4 times a week. I met with the director and I had a long talk with him about T.'s weaknesses and his one strength (visual-spatial). He said he can make Geometry alot more visual-spatial for him. He says he usually uses the room to teach kids.

There is just so much to focus on right now, I don't even know where to begin. Apparently he has language problems, including comprehension but he is also failing Geometry. I am hopeful that a combination of the private one on one tutoring and the educational therapy will be helpful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 4:58pm

Here's a link to the International Dyslexia Assn website:
http://www.interdys.org/

If you click on branches, you may find one near you, and you can then call them to inquire. Otherwise just do a web search typing in the O-G term and your city, or a larger one close to you.

The one-on-one is important, so it's good you've got someone for geometry. I'd just be careful of using Sylvan for reading if your son is dyslexic--we've had numerous clients come to us after trying Sylvan. The O-G approach is simply more effective when it comes to reading and language arts. If you're really lucky, you might find someone trained in O-G who can also help with geometry. Good luck!

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 11:24am
I agree with you 100%!