DSD got in a car accident

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
DSD got in a car accident
9
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 10:19am

Last night I was surprised to see DSD at the door when I was making dinner.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 11:55am

Too bad the timing is always so 'off', but it shows a sign of maturity that she showed up at your house to face the music, so to speak, don't you think? I think it was pretty brave of her to tell about the accident in person rather than over the phone.


And is there an off chance that she thought bringing the papers over would maybe soften up old dad a bit? Maybe make him open up to her again and try a fresh start?


I think she's better off with her grandmother - she will be 18 before she knows it and with the SS money she will receive as long as she stays in school, until she is 22 I believe, she will be okay.


There is no reason for her father to be out of her life just because she lives elsewhere and I would think he was being a big weenie if he chose to close the door to her just because of this. If he backs out of her life right now, he should be ashamed of himself. Just because he is incapable of being the type of father HE wants to be to her, doesn't mean he can't the type of father SHE needs him to be.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 12:09pm

I'm sorry to hear about the accident. It's just another thing on top of it all. But like H&R said, it was brave of her to come personally. Maybe she also needed to have a little "comfort" from dad at that time.


I too agree that being with G-ma is a good idea for her. Hopefully she and Dad will be able to have a bit of a grown up relationship now, but it will take effort on both ends.


Best of luck with it all. I'm glad they weren't seriously hurt in the accident.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 12:13pm

What a bummer....not only for her, but for all of you. It's a good thing no one was hurt much. Those backs can take a while to get back to normal.

Do you think this happened for a reason, so she moves back home? Her insurance premium will likely go up and the fact that she drives 45 min. to school will make it even higher. Add in the high price of gas and it gets really expensive living so far from her school. I know it's been a lot more peaceful at your home without the feuding....if only they could agree to counseling. That would be a much more worthwhile investment than feeding the oil barons and insurance executives.

(I'm such a pacifist. Friends can come and go, but I just cannot stand to see family members not getting along.)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 12:43pm

And is there an off chance that she thought bringing the papers over would maybe soften up old dad a bit? Maybe make him open up to her again and try a fresh start?


definitely not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 12:49pm

I'm sure she will not move back home.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 2:17pm

Isn't it her fault? If she was making a left, cutting across traffic, here that would be considered her fault 100% - no matter what.


That is the exact accident my 18dd had 6 days after getting her license and car. The old woman who gunned her car into the intersection *technically* was at fault according to 3 witnesses, but the police said none of that matters as dd was making a left cutting across traffic so she is automatically at fault. No giant big deal as dd's car was a pile of you know what so it was totaled and the old woman didn't make a fuss.


I don't even know if it ever went through our insurance as our rates never went up and we just only now renewed! I should just shut up now before I jinx myself!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 3:02pm
Don't know what to say except I'm glad it wasn't serious.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 6:06pm
I think this is a move in the right direction for DSD as far as maturity goes - she could have avoided facing the music all together, or called you for your expertise in how to handle things rather than show up on your doorstep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2007
Fri, 11-30-2007 - 12:44am
My son also had an accident where nobody was hurt. (I was in the passenger seat telling him to slow down in the snow, but he of course knew it all until we're sliding out of control and I'm screaming "You're going to HIT...." WHACK.)
Anyways, he had to pay the deductible to get the car fixed. It was actually a prerequisite of driving--have the money to pay if you crunch the car. Grandma shouldn't have to pay for her bad driving--what lesson is that teaching?
Now, my son is the one telling my other newly licensed son to slow down.
The moral? Nobody got hurt, it was a great lesson which could have been tragic that has helped turn him into a good driver, and he learned that being "cool" costs money.