Ear Stretching

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Ear Stretching
11
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 11:35am

My 13 year old stepson got his ears pierced last year in October (he was 12 then). I wasn't thrilled, but I was okay enough to let him do it.

Since then he has become interested in "Ear Stretching" or "Gauging". It just involves changing to a larger diameter earring every six weeks or so, so that the earlobe slowly becomes stretched out. Eventually you work up to the point where a pretty large earring or plug can fit into the lobe (an inch or more). I'm sure most of you have seen it or know about it, it's not at all uncommon now.

Again, I was hesitant, but okay with him doing this -- to a certain extent. I did some research online and found that

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 11:49am
My mom never let me get my ears pierced til I was 18. I can see a normal ear piercing prior, but personally I'd have issues with anything more under 18. I see your rationale, but definitely am not fond of the gauging.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 12:51pm
Don't let a 13 y.o. under your care and supervision do that to his ears. And yeah, the larger one goes, the more it is permanent. Buck up and say no.

 

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 1:03pm

No, no, no, no, no.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 3:32pm
I have to agree with the others that at 13, to make a permenant decision like that is not a good one. That is why you have to have parents' permission to get a tatoo or ear/body piercings under the age of 18. This sort of thing is just as permanent.

The other question I have, and since I am not on the board all the time, it may be knowledge others know of that i don't, but if he is your step son, what does his bio dad and mom have to say about this one. Even if my step son lived with us full time, that would not be a decision I would ever be making, it would be his dad and biomom's decisions to make.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 3:54pm

Tracy,

Unfortunately the bio dad of my stepkids has very little to so with them. We live in Texas, and he is remarried and lives in Rhode Island. He hasn't seen either of them in 5 years and has very little communication with them, so he's not involved at all in

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 4:02pm
ahh, that makes sense. I just wanted to throw that out there, especially since I didn't know the situation, though I know that some stepparents would make the decision regardless...
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Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 6:12pm

Piercing the ears is one thing; gauging is something else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 7:21pm

Those big ear holes just gross me out--I can't imagine why anyone would think they are attractive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 9:02pm

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Ericcccccccccccccc!

Seriously, Eric saying NO is what parents are for (step and bio).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2013
Fri, 04-12-2013 - 12:19pm

I have a 16 year old son and we've gone through the same thing. When he was 13 he wanted snake bites (two bottom lip piercings) and I wasn't thrilled but I allowed it. When he was 14 he wanted angel bites (two top lip piercings) and his tongue, again I wasn't thrilled that he was putting 5 holes in his face at only 14 but I allowed it. He began stretching his ears at 13 as well, this he kept a secret until I noticed it was getting bigger. He pierced his septum himself and has his ears at 1 inch, you wouldn't believe the amount of people that ask me why I would allow it. The truth is, no I don't like that he has his face filled with metal and I feel that he doesn't need it but you hear of all these teenagers killing themselves from the simple words of bullies? I would rather my son be happy and confident with himself and his appearance rather than have low self-esteem which can lead to depression and worse. I'm not saying to let him get whatever he wants, but sit down and have a serious conversation (with an open mind) as to why he wants it and then compare it with the risks. All in all it's a complete acceptance thing from you, you should love your stepson even if he has 'disgusting' holes in his ears, apperance should not matter to you. But it does to him.

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