Embarrassing your teens? Okay?

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Embarrassing your teens? Okay?
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Fri, 02-09-2007 - 10:47pm

The other day I parked behind this Dodge minivan and there was a small black and yellow bumper sticker which read, "I was put on this Earth to embarrass my teenagers".

I don't know, I guess if I heard someone say that I might get a chuckle out of it, but to actually put it on your car like it's your own personal slogan?

When I told my friend about it, she couldn't stop laughing and said, "That's MY goal, isn't it yours?" Well, uh, no, it's not and why is it hers?? My friend then related a story to me about how at least once a week when she drives her 3 teens to HS she actually walks them in, talking loudly in front of all thier friends and even tries to get her arm around one of them - she said she deliberatly does this on purpose to embarrass her teens in front of thier peers. She said she also drives by the ball fields when all the kids are there, lowers her windows, reclines her seat, and blasts rap - again, to embarrass her teens. I was just speechless - have I lost my sense of humor or is this mom a little on the narcissistic side??

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Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 7:54am

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maybe a little of both? I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says the same thing as the bumper sticker, have had it there for years now. Parents who see it think it's funny, but my kids just roll their eyes. However, I would NEVER go out of my way to embarrass my kids in front of their friends in the ways you describe - that's just disrespectful of the kids' feelings and a good way to earn the kids' disrespect toward mom. However, if it happens inadvertently because I put limits on them or love them "too much" - well, that's what I'm here for. Lets face it, they've done their share to embarrass mom in front of HER friends - like the time my then 5 y/o DD announced very loudly at the day care that mom has funny pajamas - you can see right thru them!! Now how in the world did she know THAT?? ;)
Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:11am

I agree with you. I guess I embarrass my DD15 once in a while, but I wouldn't say it's my "goal". I think both the bumper sticker and your friend's response come out of a sense of humor based on being mean - alot of people find it funny, and if you don't you need to "lighten up."

On another note - some parents wonder why their kids have such a disrespectful attitude toward them. Having a mom who embarrasses you ON PURPOSE seems like a good set-up for a very contentious relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:59am
I'm with you and everyone else - although I did get a chuckle out of the bumper sticker I don't think it's right to purposely embarass our teens on a regular basis.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 11:46am
Well, I haven't DONE so, but I did THREATEN...My dd wasn't even bothering to say "good bye" or "thank you" when I'd drop her off at school. So I told her that the next time she did that, I'd follow her in, pinch her cheeks, call her "smoogy woogy" and then point to the nearest boy and say loudly "Aw...is this the little guy you have a crush on??" LOL - she's NEVER forgotten to say good bye since. Seriously, though, my very existence DOES embarass my kids to an extent since I teach in their schools (half time at son's and occasionally susbtitute at daughters) so I try to keep as low a profile as possible. Just the other day I had to speak to son about swearing in the hallway, and one of his peers said "Oh, I think your mommy is going to give you a spanking!" Yikes. But I think the bumper sticker is harmless ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 2:21pm
Yup I'd say she's a little off....its one thing to inadvertently embarass your teens just by, well, being you. But its another to deliberately set out to do embarassing things. Sometimes my husband does that act with my dd and her friends and frankly I find it painful to even watch. And yes, he IS narcissistic....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 4:43pm

I’ve seen this bumper sticker before. I believe the idea is to satirize the fact that teens (early teens) are embarrassed by our very existence. When they’re with their friends, we are admonished to virtually pretend we don’t know them. When we pick them up and they are in a crowd of buddies, don’t speak! Fortunately, the phenomenon appears to be short lived. So..the “joke” is, we embarrass our teens by living, breathing, and being in the same space with them, without even trying.

It seems the OP is describing someone who is acting out because her kids are separating from her. I would think that behavior would be quite time consuming and to no benefit. I have a disdain for armchair psychology, but I would bet the farm on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 4:58pm

Okay I was reading this feeling realllly embarrassed.

"Ginny"

Loving wife

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:18pm
Hhaaha - dd17, when she was 5, told H's parents (then he was just my BF) that we took showers together! And we thought we were so careful!! Hahaha - I thought his mother was going to DIE on the spot and his father nearly choked laughing. I just wanted to crawl under the table. And dd looked very happy with herself. Oh Brother, are you right about them embarrassing us!!
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:21pm
I LOVE that T-shirt! I have one myself and my kids used to think it was funny....hmmm, strange, I haven't seen it in a while...they just aren't so little that they have to go everywhere with me!
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:26pm

No, I get the humor and idea behind the bumper sticker...I think I'd have found it bit more humorous if I didn't know so many parents who seem to live by this 'rule'.

I don't think my friend is doing all those embarrassing things because she's having trouble separating in a healthy manner from her growing kids. I think she's just nuts. LOL- she really seems to enjoy making them feel uncomfortable. Really.

I have embarrassed my dds' inadvertantly, and have laughed it off when one of them points it out, but I don't go out of my way to embarrass them. I think that's mean even if it can be satisfying on some level (for some).

One time, my dd was having a party, I think she was in 9th grade. Well, I didn't know the curtains were open and I was dancing in the kitchen to one of the songs they were playing and my dd came in and nearly bit off my head! "Oh MY GOD, mom! Stop it!" I think I may have teared up a little, I felt so bad that my dancing had embarrassed her so. Haha - we can laugh about it now.

Thanks for the input everyone. I guess I need to lighten up a bit.

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