End of my rope....again...
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| Mon, 10-30-2006 - 6:10pm |
I know I'm a bad mom. I must be. Why else would she throw things at me and at my newly painted walls? I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to talk to.
Here's what happened: she's 13 and had spent the dinner hour shocking her sister (12) and me with comments like, "why would you want to leave anything to the imagination?" and "I thought it was funny when I caught him looking down my shirt at the dance." We had a whole dinner conversation in this vein, but her sister and I couldn't get through to her.
Then I said I wouldn't take her to her boyfriend's house for a study session because her behavior at dinner just didn't make me think she was all that responsible. She basically said I was stupid and couldn't help her with math. Then she threw a plate at me. Then she threw the phone at the wall and dented it and broke the phone. Then I told her to go up to her room right now, or I would not let her go trick-or-treating tomorrow night. She said, That's bullsh__" So I said it was a done deal. No trick or treating. I also took away her radio.
O.K. Background. Similar things to this landed her in the hospital for a week about a month ago. Things have been better lately, but here we go again. I think if she were to try to run away, I wouldn't even go looking for her. I don't know where I have gone wrong or what to do. I really have had it.
Any ideas?

Has she seen a therapist?
Have her therapists given you any insight into her problem? Any diagnosis?
Thanks. I was just about to e-mail the psychologist about last night. I'll mention the complete neuro-psych evaluation. Actually, just having someone out there telling me that this is not normal behavior helps greatly. Of course she waited to explode until my husband went out of town. I guess psych is just like other medicine where you have to fight for what your kids.
I'm going to stay on these message boards and see what I can learn from them, too.
Thanks again,
Leigh Anne
I'm so sorry you are going through this with your DD. I would suggest counseling for both of you and her dad (if he's involved). If she refuses to go, then go without her. A good therapist can help you to cope with the stress of dealing with this and they can teach you some strategies to regain respect from your DD. You could consider insisting that she attend but usually forced therapy doesn't do much good (at least it didn't with my oldest DD).
I also would go to the library or local bookstore and read every possible book you can find on parenting teens. You might not agree with all the techniques presented but these books will help you to remain focused on being consistent with your discipline. They will provide you with encouragement and ideas to think about and consider. One of my favorites for this type of problem is "Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love" by Scott Sells. I have attached the amazon link. You could probably get it cheaper on half.com used.
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Your-Out-Control-Teenager/dp/0312303017/sr=8-1/qid=1162313600/ref=sr_1_1/103-5777164-0332655?ie=UTF8&s=books
Good Luck!
Thank you for the thoughts. I do have her in therapy as well as me. I will ask one or both therapists if we could have famliy sessions.
I will buy that book right now. I appreciate your reccomendation. There are so many out there that it is mind boggling. And, yes, I've read my share of them. Been reading about difficult children since she was born. I am just sooo tired of it.
O.K. Off to Amazon.
L.A.