entering highschool

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
entering highschool
14
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 6:09pm

How did you handle your daughter entering 9th grade?
My daughter is 14 yrs old, a social butterfly, honor society, beta club, asst.sunday school teacher,very trustworthy an all around "good girl".
I'm still worried all this will change...any advice?

Edie Grimsley
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 7:48pm

Truthfully, her personality, interests, motivation and responsibility don't have to change once she gets into high school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 8:26pm

What Rose said.

Of course there are no guarantees that she won't try something dumb on for size somewhere along the high school path, my experience was that it was all over the hump from middle school. My wonderful, (mostly) pleasant, thoughtful DD will be a senior this fall.
In middle school she stayed out of major trouble, but was often moody, self centered, and we had some major battles over makeup and clothes choices as she discovered what boobs do to boys. LOL She laughs about her brief but interesting raccoon eyes phase. And the drama.... OMG.. I don't miss the drama.
Advice? Keep doing what you're doing mom. Sports and after school activities are a definite plus. And keep her talking by maintaining an atmosphere where she's not afraid to talk to you. You'll be fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 10:24am

My son (13) is entering highschool this year as well. Can't believe that it's coming up so fast.

Connor is also a good kid. 8th grade he was a very social and confident kid. Honor student, Student Historic Preservation Team, Drama club,select choir, usher at our church.

He's going into 9th. In honors level classes, still a member of the Student Historic Preservation Team (they can stay on through college), He already signed up for the HS Drama club, auditioned for and made it into the HS Concert Choir, signed up for football (starts Aug 3rd), and will continue to usher in our church.

Personally I think the key to having a good kid, stay good is to help them to get involved in all the great things that HS has to offer and to keep them focused on their goals in life. Granted, there are no guarentees. However, I feel that if we as parents keep and upbeat and positive outlook, our kids will follow. We need to trust that we have raised them well to this point and help them to continue making choices that reflect their character.

stacy

Avatar for jbgattuso
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Registered: 04-29-2003
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 11:03am

"However, I feel that if we as parents keep and upbeat and positive outlook, our kids will follow."

I don't know if the DS your talking about is your oldest and if not, maybe you didn't run into this but;

One thing that I would advise parents of it to be prepared for the "changes" that can come. I have done alot of reading and took it really hard when my DS started caring more about his peer group than his family. This I have found out is very normal and he is starting to swing back (going into his junior yr). But with your statement about parents displaying a positive outlook, I just think that more then that, parents need to realize that they mostly all go through a stage that their parents thoughts mean NOTHING to them...we know nothing LOL.. Now, I have to believe that they hold onto everything that they learned somewhere deep down inside. I found myself thinking "where did the son that I raised go"

Maybe I'm off base on this one, but have heard it....read it.....watched it....from many sourses over the last two yrs. Just my thoughts on this one ;) And I wish I had been better prepared for it with my oldest, because it feels like a bigger deal then it ended up being.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 12:47pm

"And thankfully, a lot of the cattiness and outright B****iness that is life with jr. high girls tends to start dieing down sometime between freshman and sophomore year - that was a HUGE relief!!"

I really, really, really hope you're right about this, Rose! I had thought it would die down when my DD started high school last year, but it only seemed to get much worse. I'll keep my fingers crossed that there will be less of it in her sophomore year!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 6:35am

Well, I said most of it - some girls only get worse as they get older, and sneekier about their b****iness.... and they grow up to be one of the snotty Bs that we all hate working with... and it seems like every workplace has at least one.


Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 9:24pm

My younger son started high school last fall and I worried about him from thje beginning. It seems as though my worries were unfounded as he seems to have adjusted quite well. He was an honors student in grade school and is now focused on his college goals. He also is involved in basketball and baseball. This year may be a little more difficult as his older brother just left for TX to continue his education.

The classes he is involved with are all honor classes. The thing I found most helpful is just keeping touch with what's going on daily and monitoring their schedules, grades, etc. The school my son attends sends notices of grades on a daily basis and will notify you if their grades go below a certain grade level. You are allowed to access their records by a number and password, so could see what they may not want you to see.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:34am

The only thing I'd say to be careful of is if your dd is very sensitive like my ds14. He just finished freshman year, and had a miserable year. Previously he was an A/couple B g/t MS student. In HS he had the geometry teacher from he!! who totally demeaned him in front of the class which caused him to completely lose faith in himself, not only in geometry but in everything else. Came out with all Cs. Totally unexpected based on his past, but understandable based on what she did to him (he also had mono from Oct-May). Right now he's in summer school by choice taking US studies and doing better, regaining his self esteem. I hope it's the turning point, because he really got depressed at the end of the year.

So basically just watch out for such teachers (this one was upset at the number of freshmen in Geometry, as she felt it's a sophomore level class, plus ds is a year younger than his classmates, which really did him in, in her eyes) and make sure you get your dd out of such situations if ever they arise.

Best of luck - she'll be fine.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 11:52pm
Hi lorianne. I just read you post and was wondering what school in TX your son will be attending. My DDDs...is that how you say daughters?... are interested in Trinity University in San Antonio...I know that TX is like here in CA..a bazillion different colleges and universities but since I have never been to Texas, I'm hungry for info :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 12:49am

My son's at Universal Technical Institute in Houston. He will only need 15 months to get his master mechanic's certification. That's a long time away from home(Maine) but I know he will do well. So far, he has 2(100)'s and 1(90) on his tests so I know he made the right choice in going. I don't know if I will hold up until he gets home for Christmas Break, but I know he's going to keep working hard until he's finished.

I just finished my BA in December of last year, so I tease him about graduating college just 6months before he graduated high school. Now I'm looking for a teaching position this fall while he's working 6 hours a day and going to school 6 1/2 hours a day.

Just hope I have some good success with the applications I've put out so far.

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