family gatherings

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
family gatherings
5
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 3:20pm

My teens are becoming more resistant about attending family gatherings.

Not the Thanksgiving/Christmas type, but the spend an afternoon/evening at auntie's house type. I can understand why. They have few family members close in age to them, and we tend to spend a long amount of time there.

I don't want to make their weekend miserable, but it seems to hurt the other family member's feelings. We typically do this type of thing on a Saturday evening twice a month, which apparently kills my 17yo's social life.

How do you handle this type of thing? Are your teens willing to go?

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 3:50pm

Does your teen drive yet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 4:55pm

We've never really lived close enough to any family to have any sort of issues like this.

 

 

 

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 7:24pm

I really don't have a problem with this. I have 3 brothers and they all live in the sam area. My kids are usually happy to get together with the family, they are really close to their cousins. They also have times that they bring a friend with them. We have a couple friends that are pretty much family members anyway.


And when something comes up the my kids can't make it no one is offended, because they all have older kids than mine and understand that sometimes it just doesn't work for teens.


I think the idea that if they drive they can leave after a while is a good one, or if they have plans with a friend the friend could pick them up. I know it can be hard, but maybe you could explain to family members that now that they are teens, it isn't that they don't love them any more, but they have a life besides family now and it is a normal process to become a little more independant of Mom and Dad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 8:01am

With my kids it always has depended on which family we're seeing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 3:08pm

I like the Sunday afternoon idea!

As a working adult, I find 'enjoying' my weekends is going up and up on the priority scale. It's tough spending a long work week doing what someone else wants you to do only to come home for what should be a 'fun' weekend and being faced with a list of more 'have to's.

So I sympathize with the teens; they have been at school all week. This is 'fun' night and they HAVE to do something that isnt fun! I would try to move things to the less fun Sunday or cut the times they need to come in 1/2.

Is it a little self centered? Sure, but, know what? I NEED to be more self centered and do things to make myself happier. Maybe that's not a bad lesson to teach!