"Fast" 16 year old girl attempting to have sex with my son

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
"Fast" 16 year old girl attempting to have sex with my son
18
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 2:23am

My Sophomore DS is a great kid.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2011

I would also have to disagree with the best insurance against teens having sex. Some teens are just going to have sex. I think the best thing you can do for your teen is to talk, talk, talk to them all the time. Yes, they will do the eye roll, etc. But they still hear you and know you care. You can tell them you think they should wait to become sexually active, but be absolutely sure they know how to prevent pregnancies and diseases if they decide to do it anyhow. Give them the tools they need to be safe and make good choices. That is just part of protecting your child and allowing them to grow up making good decisions. My daughter has been in a relationship with a boy for more than two years now. She is 15 1/2. Would I have preferred that she waited to have a steady? Yes, but this is the way it is. And I will not alienate her by refusing to acknowledge her decision and as a result, she is open with me. She knows how I feel and we talk openly all the time. They have chosen to wait to have sex. That does not mean I have not educated my daughter on everything I can think of she might need to know about sex.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

Perhaps I should qualify my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

I agree, that keeping teens well supervised is one of the best ways to avoid early sexual activity.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I don't know how you can prevent the kids from liking each other & considering each other BF & GF. When I say that DS had a GF, it's not like they were going on one-on-one dates either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Being a single parent it's not exactly an option for me to quit my job or change to a job where I could be home by 3:00 when school gets out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006

Thank you all for the opinions and advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

Glad you made the decision and that it prompted a good discussion with your ds (although probably a bit one-sided at the time). I'm sure he was angry and embarassed but at least he seemed to get over it quickly. And yes, I, too, snooped when my kids were younger. Only if I had reason too, like during older ds's senior year. Texting wasn't really such a big thing back then but the pre-social networks like Livejournal and AIM chat were popular and we tracked both of those, which was how we found out that our straight-A, talented bando and martial artist was sneaking out, drinking, smoking pot, etc. But like your older dd he turned around, too (although it took awhile as he struggled with some other issues). He's graduated last summer from college and is headed to med school in July. Younger ds, OTH, is still a bit of a work in process. He's made some incredibly stupid choices over the last few years. But he's 21 and once they get to be a certain age it's harder to control what they do and we can't protect them from those stupid choices any longer.

Pam

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