Fed up

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Fed up
27
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 9:48am

I just need to vent about how overwhelming the upkeep of my kids and home has become. I know everyone will tell me my kids need to be doing more. I know, I know, I know! But it seems that in the past year or two, things have just gone out of control as far as the mess they create in this house and the expenses that they generate. They will do chores when asked without too much complaining, but I can't say they jump at the chance to help out. Also, with the endless hours they spend on marching band from August through November, I feel like they have enough on their plate keeping up with that and homework. (Although I must admit it doesn't seem to cut into their computer and TV time any!)


That said, the laundry alone could provide enough work for a full-time employee! I keep up with the laundry pretty well. DH and I, combined, don't generate half as much as my DD15. I went up to her room this morning, and nearly cried. I could barely lift her hamper! This is the girl who keeps complaining to me that I need to take her out and buy her more and more clothes. Yet you can barely walk in her room or bathroom without stepping on some article of clothing. And that's not counting what she had stuffed into and on top of her overflowing hamper. It will take me all day today and probably part of tomorrow just to get her clothes clean. My son is slightly better, although he has been known to take perfectly clean clothes off the hanger and put them right into the dirty laundry! His problem is leaving trash all around the house. Today, I found an empty candy wrapper in one of my family room drawers. Just the other day, we had a swarm of ants in the house because he left food in his backpack. He stuffs wrappers under chair cushions too. AARGH!


I decided to clean bathrooms today, and I couldn't even start in my DD's bathroom because she has so much STUFF all over every conceivable surface. I usually dump it all into a basket and let her deal with it later, but this time it's too much for even that. I will make her clean up when she gets home, but I can't understand how I raised a kid who thinks it's OK to live like that. (I know--she needs to be the one to do the cleaning; but if I wait for that, it will never happen and I don't want her growing up thinking this is how things should look.)


And that's not even mentioning the expenses. Marching band is through the roof, then it's always something....going to the movies, going to concerts, "needing" new clothes, spending money for marching band shows...I give them each an allowance, but it's never enough. Most of the "healthy snacks" I bought for the week on Saturday are already gone and it's only Tuesday!


Well, if you read this far, thank you. Am I the only one in this dilemma? I hate being a drill sergeant, but I'm going to get tough today. I'm going to disconnect the computer & TV, and no one is doing anything until they clean up after themselves.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 1:51pm

My DD is a real clotheshorse too--she has so much stuff that it can't fit into her bureau and it was usually all over the floor, but I refused to do their laundry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 1:59pm

Believe me, their grades won't suffer because they do some chores around the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 3:02pm

No problem! I can always use some more ideas!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 3:23pm

As a mom of 3 boys (and one little girl to small to reach the washer), I often hear that my future daughters-in-law will thank me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 5:04pm

I've been running errands for the last couple of hours and actually had lots of time to think about this.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 6:52pm




Housework can be awfully overwhelming, and I've lived it both ways.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 7:14pm

When I started having trouble with my fibromyalgia we set up chores for our 2. One week Kelsie will do kitchen, which means setting the dinner table and cleaning it off, loading and unloading the dishwasher and generally cleaning up the kitchen really goo on the weekend-doing the floor etc. Jaryd will do the bathrooms (1 1/2) actually that is easier because there is really only the big cleaning on Sat or Sun, but if they would both maintain a little better the weekend wouldn't be as much work. They also are in charge of their rooms, Jaryd's isn't so bad, but Kelsie's is usually a pig sty. Most of her clothes are on the floor, I just don't get that. She has been doing her laundry since 4th grade. One day Dave asked for all the laundry to go down to the basement, Yes Dad it's all down! Next day Kelsie had about 4 loads that needed to be done, and when she plopped down on her bed and looked on the floor on the other side and said "Hmmmm what should I wear today?" that was the end of his patience!


What really makes me crazy is when they stand next to the garbage can and leave the garbage on the counter, or when I aske them to pick up a few things in the living room and they say "but I didn't put it there!"


If I had a nickle for every time I hear that I would be a rich woman!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 7:49pm

I have someone coming out Th to give an estimate on housecleaning and I am down to one kid who does his own laundry and keeps his messes in his room and his bathroom(granted the bedroom is a stellar mess but he cleans it up with a stern reminder)

I think sometimes IT just gets to us-that feeling of 'does this ever end?'

My car is paid off next month and I have decided this is important to me-having someone come in and at least do the floors. It will add to my quality of life and I, personally, need to have an occasional concrete reminder of why I work my arse off! (47 hours last week-ugh)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 8:38pm

Oh, I will be the first to admit my children are indulged.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: ejteach2007
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 10:51pm

COMPLETELY OT here - but I'm seeing the same thing as some of the other posters did - the last little bit of the right side of your posts is cut off

Pam