Fed up

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Fed up
27
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 9:48am

I just need to vent about how overwhelming the upkeep of my kids and home has become. I know everyone will tell me my kids need to be doing more. I know, I know, I know! But it seems that in the past year or two, things have just gone out of control as far as the mess they create in this house and the expenses that they generate. They will do chores when asked without too much complaining, but I can't say they jump at the chance to help out. Also, with the endless hours they spend on marching band from August through November, I feel like they have enough on their plate keeping up with that and homework. (Although I must admit it doesn't seem to cut into their computer and TV time any!)


That said, the laundry alone could provide enough work for a full-time employee! I keep up with the laundry pretty well. DH and I, combined, don't generate half as much as my DD15. I went up to her room this morning, and nearly cried. I could barely lift her hamper! This is the girl who keeps complaining to me that I need to take her out and buy her more and more clothes. Yet you can barely walk in her room or bathroom without stepping on some article of clothing. And that's not counting what she had stuffed into and on top of her overflowing hamper. It will take me all day today and probably part of tomorrow just to get her clothes clean. My son is slightly better, although he has been known to take perfectly clean clothes off the hanger and put them right into the dirty laundry! His problem is leaving trash all around the house. Today, I found an empty candy wrapper in one of my family room drawers. Just the other day, we had a swarm of ants in the house because he left food in his backpack. He stuffs wrappers under chair cushions too. AARGH!


I decided to clean bathrooms today, and I couldn't even start in my DD's bathroom because she has so much STUFF all over every conceivable surface. I usually dump it all into a basket and let her deal with it later, but this time it's too much for even that. I will make her clean up when she gets home, but I can't understand how I raised a kid who thinks it's OK to live like that. (I know--she needs to be the one to do the cleaning; but if I wait for that, it will never happen and I don't want her growing up thinking this is how things should look.)


And that's not even mentioning the expenses. Marching band is through the roof, then it's always something....going to the movies, going to concerts, "needing" new clothes, spending money for marching band shows...I give them each an allowance, but it's never enough. Most of the "healthy snacks" I bought for the week on Saturday are already gone and it's only Tuesday!


Well, if you read this far, thank you. Am I the only one in this dilemma? I hate being a drill sergeant, but I'm going to get tough today. I'm going to disconnect the computer & TV, and no one is doing anything until they clean up after themselves.


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: ejteach2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 7:33am




You're right, I'm definitely a victim of "submarine parenting" - and when my oldest was younger I definitely did too much for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
In reply to: ejteach2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 8:23am

My boys were pretty bad in some ways, too.

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: ejteach2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 9:04am

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and support! Looks like I'm not alone in struggling with these issues. My mom did an awful lot for me as I was growing up, but even with that I never, ever would have even thought about leaving my clothes and towels on the floor, leaving trash around, etc. Never! I guess I'm caught between wanting to hold my kids responsible on the one hand, yet not wanting to let them get used to living in "squalor" (if they don't clean up) on the other hand. Also, I work part-time as a teacher, and by the time I get home, I'm worn out from being on top of kids and cajoling them to do all the things they need to do in school, so I'm a little burned out from having to do more of that at home.


Just for laughs, I counted how many articles of clothing I ended up washing for my DD yesterday, and it included 26 shirts!!

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
In reply to: ejteach2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 9:47am
I love that sometimes they take their dishes to the sink.....when the dishwasher is just waiting for their dishes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
In reply to: ejteach2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 1:35pm

Coincidentally my dd and I had a minor blow-out this morning over my "frustrations".

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: ejteach2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 7:14pm
Hugs, and sorry you had such a bad morning! I can definitely relate to that. What really puts this whole thing over the top is when we do all of these things only to have our kids turn around and talk down to us like we're morons! I guess that's another good reason to work to give them more responsibility. At least then we won't be so resentful when things start to go wrong! I'm sure that your DD heard what you were saying, even if it didn't seem like it at them time. I don't think you "went wrong" anywhere. Most of us are in the same boat!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
In reply to: ejteach2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 8:59pm

Funny to come across this post.

Pages