Feeling Guilty Today!
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 01-03-2007 - 11:12am |
All her life, DD has been my skinny minnie and for the past several years, DS has been my chubby little boy.
Well, times have changed! DS is suddenly taller than me and pretty thin and DD has gained a fair amount of weight. We went shopping for clothes over the holiday break and she was pretty upset that she couldn't fit into the size she thought she was. We ended up leaving without buying anything because she didn't like the size. (Have to admit, I've done the same thing.) Or when she'd come out to show me an outfit she liked, I'd say "Nope, too small. I'll get you the next size up" which got her even more riled up. Then she'd say she was too 'fat', etc. I don't want to focus on her weight but more on her getting more active. She is not an especially athletic person, but she does like to dance, jog, etc. Because of her schedule and homework load this year, we've had a hard time finding a good balance and a convenient time for her to do something physical.
DD has never had great eating habits, and lately when I notice her eating say, a dozen cookies in one sitting, I comment. I try not to sound critical, or accusing, but I think it comes across a little more harshly than I intend -- "You've just eaten a huge cinammon roll and then a brownie. If you're still hungry, have an apple or something." This is the same sort of thing I would say to DS when he was overdoing it and DD doesn't especially like to hear it about herself!
I drug her and DS both out several times over the break to run, ride bikes, rollerblade, etc. She is fine with it once we get going and does enjoy it, but I think she feels like I am telling her she is fat! She's not fat, but I can see how she COULD have a weight problem if she doesn't pay more attention now.
She is at school for several hours after dismissal waiting on her ride. I told her I wanted to buy her new running shoes so she could get out and walk or jog after school -- i.e, get some exercise. She took a ballroom dance class in November and loved it and I am encouraging her to manage her time really well next month so she could take the next session.
Well, yesterday she and a friend went for a long hike off campus (2 hours) and came home with blisters. Today she said it's her 'stair climbing day' so while seems to be taking an initiative herself to get more active, I feel guilty for even saying anything! And for putting carrots in her lunch instead of chips!

Pages
They can do this because they're a private school that doens't answer to the state mandates, which is PE through 10th grade. But unfortunately, most kids do stop taking it after 10th grade, even my ds17 has, and he's athletic. But now he has more opportunities to check out other electives.
Thanks Janet! The whole subject of weight is such a hard one to manage with the incidents of eating disorders, etc.
We talked a little more about food choices, etc. last night and she seems to be receptive to hearing it and conscious of what she is eating -- last night she said "I had a big dinner so I'll just have one cookie for dessert". her school work load this year seems especially grueling this year so finding the time and feeling like she wants to go out and do something is hard for her. She is typically exhausted and starving by the time she hits the door in the evening and then it's a very short time before she needs to get in the shower and finish up any homework she has. It's tough.
I will try to find the balance between encouraging and nagging about exercise after school. Among other things, I've suggested she bring her tennis racket to school and try to find someone to hit balls around with. Like I said, it will be hard for me to know when I stop encouraging and start nagging. Probably there is no difference in her mind!
You're probably right ... that school is so bent on keeping their 100% acceptance to college rate that PE is something easily excusable.
Good morning, btw!
Good morning. Guess we are on at the same time again!
Just a quick note, because I'm sneaking on at work. You asked how I approached it with L. First, it's not easy, ever. Right now, I'm so afraid she's going to go in the opposite direction, and not eating enough, so it's an ongoing balancing act.
Anyway, what I said to her is NOBODY can eat whatever they want. NOBODY. A few people have unusually high metabolisms and seem to get away with it. But mostly, if you see a thin person either they watch what they eat or exercise.
A few of her friends are Asian, and naturally thin. To that I say "you're right. it's not fair. oh well. get over it! You have a curvy body and naturally curly hair that S will never have. It's genetics. tough. deal with it" LOL I think she liked the 'life isn't fair' approach. But's that's L -she's sort of a sarcastic cynic sometimes anyway.
Sue
I guess our state (MO) is even more lax; they only need 2 semesters of PE to graduate. Since ds14 took one last summer and last fall, he's done. And he's not on a team. Sigh. I can see more nagging coming up...but not til he's over his mono!
Sue
Pages