Found out DD has tried alcohol
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| Wed, 10-11-2006 - 10:21am |
I found out from my ex that our 17 yo DD has tried alcohol. I had posted before about letting her try drinking at home under my supervision, but I guess that horse has left the barn. He kind of tricked her into saying it, because he has let her taste beer and wine and she doesn't like the taste of either. So he said something like what do you think you would order in a bar and she said rasberry vodka, which kind of indicates right there that she had it.
so I told her last night that he had told me and she said "are you mad?" I said I wasn't thrilled but my biggest concern was drinking and driving and that if she was driving, she wasn't to drink at all. She said she had only tried drinking twice and the 2nd time she threw up, so she must have had a lot, which I forgot to ask her. She said the first time, they had a designated driver who didn't drink. She also said that basically all her friends (who are the "nice" and smart kids in the school) drink and compared to them, she is one of the few holdouts.
Just think, now I have something else to worry about when she goes out at night. It's bad enough when your kid starts driving alone late at night. She wondered why sometimes I got up to see if she was home. I said that if I had fallen asleep and I didn't hear her come in, I just wanted to check to make sure she was home & safe. Now I have to worry about kids drinking too.
In some ways, I think it was actually not a good idea to raise the drinking age to 21. It was 18 when I was a teenager and yes we did drink, although I told her a lot of times in college, there were keg parties and since I didn't like beer (and still don't), I would bring my own can of soda. It seems like it hasn't stopped kids from drinking at all and now they just sneak around and do it. My cousin, who just graduated from college and was an RA in the dorm, confirmed that. She said that even when she notified kids in advance that their room was going to be searched, they were too dumb to get rid of the alchohol first, which got thrown out anyway.
I guess there's not much I can do now except pray.

And also make certain that she knows clearly what the consequences will be if she should be found driving with someone under the influence, or driving under the influence herself. What will be the punishment? She should know ahead of time and believe that you will stick to it so don't make it too drastic, obviously, or she won't take it seriously. Here is something I received from connect with kids which I subscribe to:
High Expectations Can Reduce Teen DUIs
A large percentage of teenagers are still taking to the roads either drunk or high. But according to a national survey, parents who make clear the consequences of breaking driving rules can significantly reduce such behavior behind the wheel.
The seventh annual Teens Today driving study polled over 900 licensed teenager drivers at 26 high schools. Nearly one out of every five teens surveyed reported drinking and driving – and 15 percent said they drive under the influence of marijuana.
But the teenagers whose parents had rules about safe driving, and who would follow-up if those rules were broken, were less likely to drive while impaired by alcohol or drugs.
I think you are so right about making sure the teens what the consequences will be and more importantly knowing that you will enforce them. I can look at DD and her b/f as prime examples. DD knows that if we even suspect she has been drinking, she will loose her driving privileges. This is regardless of whether or not she's driving. We also do not want alcohol (opened or unopened) in her car. She will loose her driving privileges. She's been at parties that the cops have showed up and checked out. They are always confident that she's not been drinking. Her b/f on the other hand has had his mom called numerous times b/c he's been drinking. She comes and gets him and waits until the cops leave and then take him back to get his truck! In the 3 + years, I've known this boy, he has never once faced consequences from his mom about his drinking. Plus his mom hides it from his dad. The one time that the father found out - b/f was grounded but if dad wasn't at home, mom just let him come and go as he pleased. So needless to say, this kid drinks alot. DD has begun to make him face some consequences. She recently told him that if didn't slow down, she would break up with him. She tells me that while he hasn't quit completey, he at least doesn't get so drunk he doesn't know where he is anymore.
I think having them know the consequences in advance makes a huge, huge difference!!