found out DSD is driving illegally

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
found out DSD is driving illegally
17
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 4:53pm

My DSD reported to me today that she has seen DSD driving w/ friends in the car which is illegal because she hasn't had her license for 6 mos yet. My DH would just have a fit and take away all access to the car if he knew this. I wish I didn't even know this info. I don't want to rat her out because I know my DD did this too, even though I didn't catch her. If I had, I would have taken away the car for a while. She admitted later that she had done it, but by that time, she had her own car.

I always felt that the punishment if she got caught, a 30-day license susp. for the first offense, would be worse than anything I could do. Of course, the police can't stop just for that, so you would really only get caught if you were in an accident or made some other violation, like going through a red light. They have changed the law now and I think it's a 60 day susp. for the 1st offense.

This is the same girl who somehow broke the tires and tailpipe of the car when she had it in her possession, but it amazingly happened while she was sleeping and just came out in the a.m. and everything was broken. yeah, right! another case of parents being stupid. That burns me up since we just had to spend almost $900 to fix all of that. Obviously, this girl is not trustworthy enough to have the car. Her dad will just give it to her for a whole day w/o even knowing where she is going, which isn't like him at all. Usually, he's very controlling of everything. When my DD first got her license, she could only take the car to a specific event and I would have a pretty good idea of when she would be home, such as a basketball game at school or the movies. None of this all day stuff.

Sometimes it's better to be in the dark, esp. when it's not your own kid!

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Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 10:01pm
Tell your husband that you know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 11:20am

I am slighty confused here.
Who saw who driving? Her Dad gives her the car knowning that she doesn't have a license to drive on her own? I am sorry but that is totally unacceptable. The laws are there for a reason. They are not suggestions.

And you are worried about being a rat? Get the license plate & make of the car and call the police. Inform them that you have reason to believe that a person is operating a car illegally. The police can stop anyone,at least here, if they have reason to suspect that the person is breaking the law. They can be on the look out for her. If you want, you can ask to keep your name out of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 11:11am
Just to clarify, DSD does have a driver's license and is able to drive by herself. We just have a law here that for the 1st 6 mos. after getting a license, a teen driver is not able to drive w/ other teens in the car (unless an adult is present or if they are siblings). Now this is pretty much not enforced unless the person gets in an accident or is pulled over for another violation. There are police at the high school every day directing traffic. They could check any car that has more than 1 teen in it to see when the driver got his license, but they don't. So this isn't a high enforcement priority for them. I will just bet that when DSD got in the mystery accident that is why she didn't confess to it because she probably had a friend in the car!
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 12:18pm
There is a similiar law here.
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Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:27pm

My 17dd totaled her car on Thursday evening. She was banged up and taken to the ER. She had her license 6 days and had a passenger in the car with her. We still haven't gotten her license back from the police, or the police report. And we still don't know if she will be ticketed for both the accident and the fact that she had an illegal passenger in the car with her. I am afraid to ask in case the officer failed to register that she's a newly licensed driver. If she is ticketed for having a passenger she will be fined $300 and our insurance will go up. Add to that, dd does not have a car anymore so I'm back to being the cabby. This bites.

I understand why the law was set up, but really, I think it is a stupid law. I think if they are going to place that type, and level, of restrictions on the new drivers, then they should instead require them to have a permit for one year or enroll in a driving school in order to be licensed. Like another poster mentioned, it's one of those laws that are only enforceable when they are caught!! There are 22 year olds out there who look like they are 15 and vice versa. How can a police officer know unless he/she finds a reason to pull them over? I just think it's one of those laws that creates a false sense of security for parents and cops - it tricks them into thinking that their law abiding children will only do the right thing.

Besides, hasn't anyone considered how much fuel is being wasted by 3 teens following each other in their own separate cars because they can't all ride together?? Isn't that why a HOV lane was created and carpools??

When I got my license the first thing I did was borrow my mom's car and go pick up a couple of friends to go for a ride! It was FUN and there was no harm done. I just think our society micromanages our kids too darned much.

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:10pm

Actually I recently read somewhere....sorry can't remember exactly where....about this very issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:15pm

In Mass., where I live, you have to get a permit first at age 16, then in order to get your license (at 16.5), you have to 1) attend a classroom course for 15 hours, 2) have 12 hours of driving w/ a parent (signed letter is required, guess how many people will lie), 3) 6 hours of driving instruction w/ a school plus 6 hours of watching other people drive w/ the instructor. The last thing I think is worthless because they have been sitting in cars all their lives watching people drive--it's the time actually spent on the road that matters. In Sept. this will all increase so that I think they have to spend 40 hrs. on the road w/ parents and I think more time w/ the driving instructor. The course cost us $350. I don't know what low income families do--I guess they take the bus, because the cost of adding a teenage driver to a policy when they don't have their own car is at least $1000 per year. My DD has the minimum insurance (no collision) and it costs her $1600 or $1800, I can't remember which.

I do think that sometimes people who write the laws don't think of practical things, like the fact that if 3 girls want to meet at the mall, they are taking 3 diff. cars, increasing the number of teenagers on the road. There is also a midnight curfew for drivers under 18. Recently, we had a number of fatal accidents involving teenagers where no alcohol was involved, just speeding. In one of them, I remember that they kept mentioning that the kids were trying to get home to beat the curfew. Now I kept trying to emphasize to my DD (who thankfully is now 18) that she should try to be home by 11:45 so that if she met extra traffic, or got a few red lights, she wouldn't be rushing, but of course, kids don't have that common sense. They will wait til the last possible minute. Now that she can stay out past midnight, she is often home even earlier, maybe cause she doesn't feel the need to stay out late every time, since other times she can stay out later, I don't know.

Now I got my license as soon as I could after I turned 16. I do remember taking a classroom course after school, but didn't have driving lessons w/ a pro (maybe I had one or 2). My mother taught me to drive. I never got a ticket and never got into an accident until I owned my own car when I was about 21. I do remember though that a friend of mine drove right after she got her license. A bunch of us went out to eat after a football game. There were so many kids in the car that there were people sitting on laps (seatbelt use wasn't emphasized in those days). When she was leaving the parking lot, she sideswiped a car and some of the people ran back in the restaurant so the police wouldn't know how many passengers she actually had.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:16pm

Oh my, h&r, so glad to hear your dd was only banged up in her wreck, although the fall-out from that wreck really bites.

Here, our teens are allowed one other person in the car with the newly-licensed driver during the 1st 6 mos that is not either over 21 or a family member . That I can live with. That way, the teen and a buddy can go to town, etc, or actually go on a date! So, yes, we restrict them the 1st 6 mos, but not overly much, I don't think. I'm glad our state isn't one of the ones that doesn't allow them to drive with *anyone* the 1st 6 mos. I too think that's a little *too* much.

Hope things work out for your dd, and you.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 3:09pm

>>Whether you think that it is a stupid law or not, she must abide by it!>>

Well, obviously, that's a given. We don't condone breaking laws...lol. But I am entitled to my personal...never told to dd...opinion. lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 7:45pm

Illinois is seriously upping our restrictions-it has passed the Senate and the House and only needs to be signed by the gov.

I'm not sure if everything being proposed is being approved but it will be one of the most restrictive teen driving environments in the US

I dont think its a case of more restriction is automatically better and that seems to be the train of thought

DS2's accident his sophomore year? He had two people in the car; his school has open lunch. Although he was found to be the only innocent party of the three, I worried that

1-he would be ticketed for this
2- the parents of the two boys might sue US for this breaking of the law. Neither happened but yes, it was a major worry added to all the other worries of that time

I guess one of the IL proposals is that the passengers who are riding illegally will also be ticketed. That would have clarified shared responsibility in my sons case so that I can agree with!!

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