Friends Bagging Your Parents: WDYT?
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| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 9:51pm |
(Where WDYT stands for What Do You Think?)
I need some opinions on an issue that is getting to be really, really, REEEEEALLY frustrating to me. I need to know if this is actually commonplace.
I have friends who think it is okay to bag out my parents for how they've raised me - to my face. Examples include:
Sonya: *mentions she is going offline on MSN*
Friend: What are you gonna do now?
Sonya: I'm going to play Twilight Princess.
Friend: ... Isn't that on Wii?
Sonya: ... Yes.
Friend: Oh my God, what did your parents buy you a Wii for? You are so spoiled!
Sonya: No I'm not.
Friend: Yes you are. My parents would never buy me one of those.
Sonya *thinks* Is that MY problem?
Sonya: *goes offline*
Friend: Oh my God, how much money do you get? Your parents are like totally super rich. You're so spoiled!
Sonya: Not that it's any of your business, but I need to eat. I also save what I don't spend so I can take it with me the next day. I don't waste it.
Friend. ... Well, you still get way too much!
Sonya: And that is your business how?
Friend: I'm just saying you get too much.
Sonya: *raises three middle fingers* Read between the lines!
Friend: Oh, you're such a cow.
What is WRONG with these people?
AND THE BIG KAHUNA:
* Where schoolies is a trip school-leavers take after their exams and before receiving their results. The overall point of schoolies is debauchery, drinking, drugs and sex.
Sonya's Mother: It is Sonya's schoolies as much as it -
Sonya's Ex: IT'S MY SCHOOLIES TOO!
Sonya's Mother: Will you let me finish?! It is Sonya's schoolies as much as it is yours. But if you ruin it for her -
Sonya's Ex: IT'S MY SCHOOLIES!
Sonya's Mother: James, you can fool everyone else but you can't fool me. You're a liar; if you hurt her, you will have me to deal with.
Sonya's Ex: I could say something right now but I won't.
Sonya's Mother: Go ahead, it's only words.
Sonya's Ex: You're a pathetic b***h and I hope you f*** off and die!
Sonya's Mother: Really? Is that what you want?
Sonya's Ex: YES!
Sonya: *launches herself at James, the Ex*
Sonya's Ex: Don't you f**king hit me or I'll f**king hit you back, b***h!
I didn't hit him. What would that have achieved? Did I really want to be like him? Mind you, everyone I told about it said they would have hit him. Hard.
But this abuse In front of my mother! I say it was just lucky my dad wasn't there. He's a quiet man, but if you blow his temper, you'll know about it.
The overall point is: I don't know when bagging a friend's parents to the friend's face became okay; I must have missed the memo.
As a note: is this commonplace nowadays, or do my friends just suck like a bilge pump? I don't think any of you would have spoken about your friends' parents to your friend's face! You know, I wouldn't care if it were behind my back, but to my face is too much. I could seriously hit some of these people for what they say.
Honestly, is it my problem that my friends don't get what I get? Do I have any control over their finances? I don't think I do. What do you think of all this? Do you have any suggestions as to what I could do, short of tasering them?

As for friends saying your spoiled...that kind of talk is not unusual. DS17 tells me that one of his friends is spoiled cuz his parents get him anything he wants. I just tell DS that different people have different values--that does not mean his friend is spoiled. And of course DS17 has done his share of complaining that we won't buy him whatever he wants, so if DS acts like that with us, he should not be calling his friend spoiled. Like my DS, your friends are probably just jealous. You gotta ignore that talk. It's sad, but even adults will talk like that sometimes, but probably behind the 'spoiled' person's back.
From your description, the ex's behavior in a supermarket parking lot sounds pretty awful. I'd say that's a rarity, and not acceptable. Why does he have all that anger toward your mother? It's a good thing for you that he's an ex.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
People often comment to my children, who are only 15 and 11, that they think I spoil them. My son is up to date on all technologies and my daughter has a really nice, up to date wardrobe and takes expensive classes like dance for example. People consider them "spoiled" because I don't generally censor the films they see or the music they listen to and I buy them books vs going to the public library etc etc.
But what those people don't see is the other sacrifices or things we do without in order to provide these things. Our priorities are different than other people for example we don't spend a great deal of money on expensive vacations abroad. The $5000 it might cost us to take a week's vacation at a Caribbean resort or in Mexico, that alot of other families do, we will spend on things that have a longer shelf life, per se. A week's vacation on a beach is lovely but is over in a week and quickly forgotten while the other things my children have entertain them over a long period of time.
That's MY way of deciding where to spend my money. So when your friends bother you about you being so spoiled and having so many things they don't have you could reply that yes you do have alot of things and you are grateful to your parents for what they do for you and then don't discuss any further because nothing shuts down a conversation like positive assent. People are jealous and envious and there's nothing you can do about it.
Exactly - we don't spend the money on holidays to wherever because we don't feel they are worth it. It's a week, two weeks. There's the hotel and the day trips, the airfare - and not to mention all the shopping people tend to do on holiday!
Your expression of "shelf life" is exactly appropriate. I can get 50 hours of enjoyment out of my new Zelda game. No, I do not play for a whole day, although I have a certain Idiotic Ex that would and does.
I could stretch it out even further than that because there's just so much to do in the game! I also go back to games I've played before. I go back to books I've read before, and some of the CDs I bought five, ten years ago are still kicking around. That's my priority. Not to send a postcard home from some beauty spot in the world.
Thanks to both of you for your replies.