Just wondering if this is normal for my 13 year old DSD.
Does your dsd school have a mental health counselor? Has the school ever had reason to bring her behavior to your attention?
Just my opinion for sure, but with the "uncaring" thrown in there and it's getting worse, not better, I would first have her checked out by her Dr, does she see a Pediatrician or GP? Then would ask for a referral for Psyche to assess for possible ADHD. Personally I think ADHD and ADD is WAAAY overdx'x, but if she dosen't recognise that her own behavior is causing part of the problem and is so unhappy about it, (you say she cries about others being mean and no friends), and the thing about complaining that the other kids can't keep up when she's raring to go...makes me wonder. There ARE things like Biofeedback that are non drug and can be very effective. Not that I'm against the meds if the kids (or adults) REALLY need them, but if it should come up I personally ask about other options first.
She's also THIRTEEN. It could be something, or nothing. I'd just rather be safe than sorry.