Fullmom...update on son.

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Registered: 02-12-1998
Fullmom...update on son.
30
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 5:59am

HI Fullmom,

I saw your message below.

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Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 2:53pm

Hey conmama - good to see you again. That's great that your ds is doing well in his class and will be keeping busy with work. You're right - it's probably not over but any days and weeks that go by relatively unventfully are to be treasured, aren't they??

Pam
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Registered: 02-12-1998
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 11:41am

Hi Pam,

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Registered: 11-21-2004
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 9:35pm

Conmama!

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Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 7:09pm

Hey conmama! Both boys did pretty much all the work on their own. Jason wanted to go into criminal justice at the time and since one of the best schools in the US for that is 90 minutes away that's where he focused on. We visited there and 2 other places (we did go on the visits with him). But as far as filling the application out - he did it. And since he was eligible for the honors program he had to write an essay and get recommendations. He did have us proof the essay and I think we suggested some teachers that he should talk to for recommendations. But he was always pretty motivated/focused.

With Justin he mainly wanted to go to school to go away. But he's the one that researched schools and came up with UW-Platteville. We visited that and one other school here in Peoria. He really didn't give that one a chance even though we told him he could live in the dorm. But as far as the application - he filled it out himself. And we probably should have gotten a clue when we went to the orientation at UW-P. It was one of those overnights where the parents stayed in one set of dorms, the kids in another, there was some social stuff that night and the next morning were the aptitude tests/info meetings. Because of his ACT scores he could have tested out of his basic English class (test was at 8am). Instead dh and I got a call at 9:30 (1/2 hour before the info meetings were to start) that he'd overslept because he and some of the other kids had left the dorms and not gotten back til 3am. Propping the outside door open with a rock since they were supposed to check in through the front door if they left. So taking the test was obviously NOT a priority. And then he pretty much slept through all the info meetings. The CC apps/FAFSA/etc. he did entirely on his own last spring. Really it's not all that hard to apply to most schools online - most state schools around here don't require anything beesides the app and possibly a fee.

On the opposite extreme - the gal I used to work with has twins that are freshmen in college - small school in IA. Her son plays football there. She spent most of her day filling out the apps, writing their essays, getting his football videos together, etc. I'm not sure they did anything except probably sign the form.

Hopefully this summer will be good for your ds - he's working and keeping more busy. If I were you I'd mention that if he has any questions about any of the apps to let you know but otherwise I'd let it go for now and see what happens. If it's something that really means that much to him he'll at least start checking it all out.

Pam
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Registered: 02-12-1998
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 11:50am

Pam and Fullmom,

Thanks so much for the advice.

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Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 5:28pm

Conmama, just checking in.

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Registered: 02-12-1998
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:08pm

Hi Fullmom, Things aren't going so great.

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Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:53pm

Oh conmama I'm sorry - it's so very frustrating when they just don't seem to 'get it', isn't it? I think it's perfectly reasonable for you not to allow him to drive anywhere but to and from work at this point. You're right - he's probably using more than he admits and you don't know if he's driving impaired. We actually put a portable GPS tracker in the car that Justin was driving because we got to the point where we couldn't trust him to be where he said he was. Even though he's 21 the car he was driving was paid for by us and in our name. That might be something you'd want to consider to verify that he's really just going to and from work. Justin did something really stupid a couple weeks ago and drove after he'd been drinking. Knocked over a neighbors mailbox, bottomed out on their new cement drive, and totalled the car. Fortunately he wasn't hurt and wasn't able to get more than a block away before the car just stopped (airbags had deployed, transmission fluid had leaked out). But the police were called (the neighbor called before he realized it was Justin - he's actually good friends with their son) and you're right - there wasn't anything we could have done at his age to prevent him from getting a DUI. When the cop came the first thing he asked Justin is whether he'd been drinking. He said 'yes sir' and put his hands behind his back fully expecting to be cuffed. He was darn lucky that he got off with just a severe talking to. It seems to have been a wake up call for him but we'll see...

Hang in there and keep us posted. You can also reach me through Facebook - I'm a huge addict!

Pam
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Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:51pm

You should go to the counselor WITH HIM.

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Registered: 02-12-1998
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 12:28pm

Oh, Pam...something like that could happen so easily to anyone...it could have been me years ago.