FWB?
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| Wed, 11-30-2005 - 7:44am |
Anyone else dealing with "friend with benefits"? DD has a friend, a boy, who's been her friend for a couple of years. She sorta has a crush, but is not sure if he does. So, this year they decided to be FWB. I've asked her what this means and she says they're good friends, they really like to talk to each other, and they make-out. But he's not her boyfriend, and there's a whole drama about whether he'll "ask her out" or if she should ask him out. To me someone who you like to spend time with, IM for hours with, talk on the phone (giggling) for more than a half hour, and like to kiss - this sounds like a boyfriend.
She just rolls her eyes at me.
I guess I had friends in HS who I occaisionally kissed who never became "boyfriend", but this seems to be more than just that - and now actually has a title. What the benefit (no pun intended) of being FWB and not BF/GF?
Sue

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I may be way off here, but I am only 26 and FWB is pretty common in my crew. The only thing is that FWB = friends that have sex. This allows experimentation with someone you know and love, but without the commitment. I suppose this term may be getting used with the younger set without the sex but I would have a serious discussion with my own DD and let her know what many construe that benefit to be and the fine line that is often drawn, and crossed, in this situation.
My husband was once one of my FWB. I had other FWB and he had other FWB. When we started dating we both understood that we would still have other FWB, when we got serious we stopped having other FWB. I don't know how old your DD is, but I was only 18 when I started having FWB (only 7 months after losing my virginity). For me it was less complicated than having serious relationships, but I would not want my own DD having FWB (it can get sticky).
Laura
Oh it has a name now eh? When I was growing up that was just "making out" with your male friend...
I remember with fondness actually two or three such relationships that were not "bf/gf" but did include some make out sessions. I learned alot from those guys. Not in a sexual way but in how to conduct a relationship without all the messy drama. These were guys I liked and enjoyed being around but was not fond enough to make a "bf" and the feeling was mutual.
And the biggest lesson I learned was that while you can have a good time making out with a guy who's "just a friend", its a terribly empty process esp when you compare it to one where there IS an emotional attachment. I remember my first kiss with a boy who I really, really liked and it was a "kapow" moment compared to the guys I already had experience with. These were valuable life lessons.
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