getting stepdaughter a summer job
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| Fri, 06-16-2006 - 12:03pm |
My SD just turned 16 and I have been trying to get her motivated to get a summer job. One Sat. when her DD was working and my kids were out, I drove her around to see what places might be hiring. The area is kind of limited since unless she works just nights & weekends, it would have to be someplace she could get to on the bus route. However, we live near a main street and there are quite a few places that would hire 16 year olds. She had some complaint about most of the stores. She doesn't want to work w/ fast food (of course, both the McDonalds and Burger King just closed), didn't like the grocery store which hires a lot of kids, etc. She did get one app from a drug store. That was a few weeks ago, but she hasn't handed it in yet. Now school is out and I'm afraid there will be no jobs available.
this really irritates me because my DD is 17 and she got a job last year. She worked p.t. during the summer and continued all during the school year. She just got a new job at Pier 1 which she likes better. She started off at $6.75 and now is making $7.75. We had told her that since the cost of car ins. is very high where we live, she would have to contribute, which was about $70/month. Then my mother said she would give her her old car and we said if she wanted it, the ins. would cost more and she would have to buy her own gas. Now she is paying about $150/month toward ins. plus gas. My DD didn't love every minute of the first job she had, but she kept working because she is responsible and because she wanted the car. If she complains, I would just say I didn't force her to get her own car and now that she likes being able to go anywhere she wants anytime, she has to pay for the responsibility.
I'm sure my SD would just like to sleep late and play on her computer all summer but at this point, I don't know what I should do. Should I drag her out to put in apps or let it go? I have mentioned it a few times (not in a nagging way) to her dad, who agrees w/ me that she should have a job but he isn't doing much about it. I am afraid that she will use the excuse that she couldn't find a job because now it's already summer. Of course, you can't find a job if you don't look. I know I will be really mad (and my DD would hit the roof) if she had to help pay for car ins. and my SD doesn't have to. We try to have the same rules for everybody, so it's not us vs. them. My SD just got her learner's permit, so she won't be able to get her license at least for 6 mos but it would be nice if she started saving some money now. She's not a great student, so I could see if her dad thought she couldn't work during the school year, although she seems to spend hardly any time on homework. This girl is very unmotivated. They also have to take a classroom driver's ed. I found out the time and cost, but she doesn't seem to be anxious to take it. I think she wants to get a friend to take it with her.

My best friend's dd sounds alot like your sd. Her mom had all kinds of grief trying to her to get a job. Part of the problem was her dd didn't *need* a job, ya know? She didn't have to pay for anything, so why did she need to work? Her mom kept trying to require her dd to pay for gas, and car payment, etc. but dad would invaribly bail her out. Only after that cash flow was drastically cut, was she able to find a job. :) Now, that may or may not be happening at your house, I don't know.
I think the main thing would be to get your dh onboard in regards to rules, regulations, what you will and wont' supply for your sd (his dd). Unless you have raised her from a small age, you may want your dh to lay down the rules to her (just to avoid that "you're not my mom" crap)with you by his side. And then you both have to stick to it. Once that's done, I would occasionally mention I saw where so-and-so was hiring, or have you tried xyz, things like that. I would also remind her occasionally that this, that, or the other is coming up, I hope she has put back enough money to attend, etc. She doesn't want her diver's license or a car? That's ok. She can supply her own bus fare to and from whereever it is she wants to go, or she can stay home. Of course, all this could simply mean you will end up with a bored teenager on your hands all summer, but hopefully that boredom will become a motivating factor later on.
Oh, and make sure you don't ever compare her to her step sister where she can hear. I know you know that, but I thought it bears repeating. :)